(RE) Chapter 15: My closet. My Casket.

Chapter 15:

My Closet, My Casket.

    “Deki?” Poloan asked all the while staring at the flaming horror that bellowed in the distance.

    “Yes Polan?” He replied gently.

“Why aren't we helping them?”

    Deki paused, then sighed helplessly. He turned to Polan and stated,

“There were a lot of close calls since we found you in Ethalis. I tend to think if Meath wasn't looking out for all of us, we’d be in New haven by now risking our lives yet again.”

“...What do you mean?” She asked firmly.

“You saw Biff hop off the roof and run inside didn't you?”

“Yeah… what about it?”

“The, what about it, is that Meath isn't letting him play the small scale hero tonight.”

“Do you think it's because she likes him?”  Polan asked naively.

“It could be, but I think she's more complex than that. If I had to guess, she's already convinced him that risking his life now is no longer worth it.”

“Its my sisters fault isn't it…” She solemnly assumed.

    “No. It's because…” Then Deki stopped.

    “....It's because of what?” Polan asked eagerly for Deki to finish his statement.

    “Biff used to be much less abrasive, much less closed off and frustrating. But one day three years ago, he lost the most important person to him. Ever since he hasn't been nearly the same Biff I met eight years ago.”

    Polan focused on Deki awaiting him to continue. A couple seconds passed as Deki stared into the flames lining the tree line. Then he added,

    “Biff was supposed to marry a girl named Miani. I say supposed to because he had already proposed and dedicated himself to her. He was loving and caring and full of life. But much like tonight, tragedy strikes without care or warning. Miani became cursed defending her own life, much like you did.”

    Polan was silent, stunned even. Of course she had little to no backstory as to who Biff was. She had only met him and Deki just a few nights prior. The resentment she felt for Biff slowly faded into a deep sympathetic understanding of his present attitude. Deki turned his attention to Poaln and continued,

    “Then that day in Torrenton happened. Cursed rushed in from all sides and our…Alberth's army was stationed too far away. I still remember the look Biff gave me as he told me the news that his old home town was being leveled. The four of us, Me, Biff, Zoey and Nezo took a small group of about fifty soldiers to provide some sort of backup, but it was too little too late.  Men, women and children who didn't become cursed during the incident were left dead in the streets. Homes were burned and families were torn apart. It's not a time of my life I enjoy reliving, but talking about it helps me cope.”

    Polan unintentionally began to tear up. She felt Biff’s loss through her own experiences in Ethalis. The cursed ravaged everything she once held dear to her. They even pit her against her own family. In the short moments before Deki continued she wondered to herself, “What was it all for? Why are they doing this to their own people?”

    “Anyways… We began to clear a small area in the northern part of town, we must have killed about a hundred people before I heard Biff cry out to Miani. My heart sank. I knew what events were about to unfold.” Deki said before Polan asked,

    “You guys didn't…?”

    Deki drew in a deep breath and exhaled heavily,

“Nezo and Zoey had the coldest expressions when they told Biff he should be the one to put her down. That’s when he snapped. Someone who was convicted to his cause, someone with an unbreakable will like his… just broke down. He pointed a shot from his arrow at Nezo and Zoey, he even looked at me as if I had already killed her even though she was a few feet away awaiting her demise. Zoey tackled him to the ground and kicked his bow to me. I disarmed Biff and watched as Nezo walked over to Miani and... “

    “....killed her.” Polan said finishing the sentence.

    “It was the way he did it, it was a message to Biff and anyone who would question Albethian law. A cursed person has committed the ultimate crime of taking another's life and must meet justice, eye for an eye. After Miani faded away in the bright blinding light of Nezo’s sword, so too did light in Biff’s eyes.  I watched him grow into a robust and charismatic man and watch him fall from grace in an instant. Later on that day I found out that Biff had left Alberth all together. He just vanished on our way back from Torrenton. When we got back into Alberth I learned that Zoey’s sister Agatha became cursed as well. Her and Miani were close friends but Zoey rarely mentioned her.  It came to my knowledge that Agatha despised Zoey for the person the Royal guard turned her into. So it came to no surprise that later on Agatha was found and taken into custody by Zoey and was executed in her privacy. After that Zoey became colder and distant from the rest of us. It wasn't long before Nezo lost his mind over all the lives he took as well. I think without Biff, the rest of the Royal guards questioned their own convictions, even myself.”

    “Is that why you left too?” Polan asked wiping away stray tears.

    “I left because it didn't feel right to me that we killed people who may or may not have deserved to die. Even if they did, why did we decide that? I left around four months ago much to Zoey’s dismay. I couldn't let myself live with the guilt. I had to find Biff and give him back his bow so that we might fix things ourselves. Right our wrongs so to speak.” He admitted.

    “You did the right thing.” Polan said empathetically.

Deki smiled and nodded his head,

“Thanks Poaln, I'd like to hope we're doing the right thing.”  

Poaln walked over to the edge of the roof and sat down swinging her feet off the ledge. She turned her head to look back at Deki and asked,

“Are you coming inside? I don't want to look at the fires anymore. I've had enough sadness the past couple of days.”

Deki continued to stare across the tree line and for a brief moment said nothing. He then moved his attention to Polan saying,

“I'll be there, I just want a few moments to myself.”

   

    “I understand.” Polan responded.

    She then hopped off the roof onto the front deck and back inside the cabin. Deki on the other hand left himself to think about the road that led him to this point and the tragedies that lined that road. Nezo, Miani, Agatha, None of them had to die, let alone the countless others over the span of many years. The perfect world described through Albethian law was just a castle in the sky and the proof was burning just beyond the tree line.

    “How could we have been so blinded?” Deki asked himself before finally making his way off the roof.

    As he entered the cabin he Noticed Meath and Polan sitting in the living room staring off into opposite directions. Biff appeared to be sealed off in his room again, much like he always did when things became too much for him to handle.  The quiet atmosphere of the cabin left everyone quiet as well. Just a few hours ago things seemed better. Even after the Sirus attack, the four of them seemed less shaken up than they did now.

       

    “Is everyone okay?” Deki asked the girls.

    “I'm alright.” said Polan.

    Meath at first didn't answer, but she then turned to look at Deki and replied,

    “Go check on Biff, he worries me a lot.”

    Deki looked over at Biff’s door and wondered if he should bother, then again if Meath was concerned, he should be too. He walked over and knocked on the door. It slowly opened showing half of Biffs face on the other side. His eyes were red and puffy but once he saw Deki he allowed him to enter the room, only before shutting the door behind him.

    The two men sat down and looked out the window in his room. Nothing was said at first but then Biff confessed,

    “I wonder sometimes if I have the strength to do this Deki. It always feels like the moment we get back on our feet something knocks us the f**k down again.”

    Biff sniffled as quietly as he could before Deki explained,

“You don't need to Biff.  You have the strength of all of us behind you. We are going to fix things, like we promised we would.”

“I feel like we only made it worse.”

“Sometimes completing the greatest tasks requires us to walk through flames. Maybe things are destined to get worse before they get better. It's not an easy reality to live with, but it is a reality nonetheless.”

Biff Wiped at his nose and said,

“I just feel like she's looking down on me wondering what the f**k I'm doing. There hasn't been a day that I felt complete since. Everything I do is to make up for what happened to her and I...”

“Biff you can't change what happened, Risking your life to save others because you couldn't save Miani isn't going to make her proud of you. When you refused to take her life, you left her with the final thought that you had risen above the shroud that loomed over your eyes. I'm sure wherever she rests, she knows you're doing the right thing every step of the way.”

Biff recalled the forceful kiss Meath had given him for a split second. He felt disgusted with himself even though it happened out of reason and not intimacy. Regardless he couldn't quite shake the feeling that he had been unfaithful to Miani even though she had been long gone. BIff looked over to Deki with a tear sliding down his cheek and asked,

“Do you really think that? Because all I can think is that I'm messing up constantly. Like I'm always needing to make up for s**t that I lack.”

“Its not just Miani Biff. Polan, Meath and I, we all think you’re doing what you can the best way that you can, for not only yourself, but for all of us.”

“Deki?” Said Biff.

“...Yeah?”

“Thank you. I know in the past things between us got hairy but in the end, You’re a good friend to have in this fight. I got lucky when you found me out here and gave me the tools to go on.”

“Biff, im the one who feels lucky to have found you in this seemingly endless forest, because if I didn't, no progress would have ever been made.”

With that final thought Deki stood up and headed towards the door to leave Biff his deserved personal time to reflect. As Deki entered the hallway he noticed Meath walking into her room. She turned back to ask him,

“Is he okay?”

“He’ll be alright, he's feeling frustrated with himself is all. Biff has moments of weakness much like we all do and even though he tries his best to not show it, he's in a great deal of emotional pain. He just needs time is all.” Deki explained.

“You’re right, we all do. Seeing the things we did tonight isn't easy for anyone. Let alone a man convinced he can change the course of fate. I'm gonna head to bed early, goodnight Deki”

“Goodnight Meath, sleep well.”

Deki too came to the conclusion that he would head to bed early as well. Before he went to his room however he took a second to look down the hall to see where Polan was and noticed she was fast asleep herself in the chair by the fireplace. He then walked into the room and shut his door.

A few quiet hours past where everyone slept peacefully all but Meath who suddenly awoke from her slumber. The same dream with the two girls played out in her head yet again. This time she associated the girl with the green eyes as Miani and things seemed less cryptic to her. Yet many question were still unanswered. As she laid in bed staring at the ceiling she felt stupid.

“Why did I f*****g kiss him like that. I'm a moron. The man is still mourning the loss of the love of his life and here I go forcing him to come to terms with it. Who am I to do that? Who am I to…” Meath’s whispered monologue stopped as she noticed her bedroom door begin to slowly creep open.  

Much to her surprise, the person on the other side was Biff. He looked miserable and without saying a word to her, Meath watched him walk over the edge of her bed and sit down next to her. Meath sat up and faced his back and began to ask,

“What’s…”

“Sometimes it’s just easier to sleep with someone next to you. It's something I've missed, something you’ve given back to me, something I may never get again.”

Meath didn't have any words to respond to that, those were her words to him after all. She slowly moved to one side of the bed making room for Biff to join her. He laid down beside her and turned his back to face away from her. She remained silent before extending her arm around him. He then took her hand in his, interlocking their fingers together and began to fall asleep.