Day and night

for you

You know that moment when you want to stop everything, to feel nothing, to be at least for a second invisible, to not care anything, to not pierce anything, to stop feeling like life is draining from your body, to be able to look at the world again as you used to do it when you didn't know how much anything can affect you,  to stop thinking about what it would have been like if you didn't make that mistake, that's what I feel every day and sometimes it's so much that I want it all to end.

 I don't want to feel anything anymore, I just want to be able to sit at least for a few moments to see what the warmth of emotions is like again. I want to enjoy what I feel again, I want to start to love myself, to look at myself in the mirror again without hatred of me . You took everything from me, my soul, my person, and I hate you so much for that.