ADRIFTED ESSENCE

The ESSENCE OF A WOMAN is counted on the effort she takes to make her man and the society happy...by forgetting her SELF. Sometimes "drifting from the forced essence " will make her a REAL WOMAN!

ADRIFTED ESSENCE
The man watched me thoroughly making me nervous. I tried to initiate a conversation but taken aback by his evasiveness and father’s grimace look. He neither wanted to hear my voice nor my decision. With his parents our marriage fixed for the last week of the month. I was perturbed with the fact that he was satisfied with my physique. Unlike me, his ken about me...my body was enough for him for the life ahead. Approached my Amma to share my anticipations regarding matrimony.
“Ippadiyellam yosikkirath thappu kanna!” “It is bad to think like that dear!”
Her face showed utter horror and my pale countenance gave her many sleepless nights. She used to check on me every night while I’ll pretend to be asleep just to relieve off her tension. Three days to go...after that, I’ll be tied to a stranger! The very thought made me tremble. I desperately wanted to talk to my groom. Once again my feet forwarded to my Amma. I believed she may help me meet him!
“Amma, enakkavare paakkanam. Ethavath pannunko...inthamathiri kalyanam ennale pannamudiyath...neenka ethavath pannunko...”
“Mother, I want to see him. Do something...I can’t marry like this...you do something...”
“Ennathith Laxmi...unakk oruvaati sonna puriyaathaa? Ithellam velaykkakathu. Ayyo kadavule intha ponnu en uyire edukkama pokamaatte...!
“What’s this Laxmi...can’t you understand once what I told you? All these won’t work. Oh God! This girl won’t go before taking my breath...!
“Shhh...Vaaya moodu...illenal ne en ponam than paakkum!”
“Shhh...Shut up...else you’ll see my dead body!”
“Purushan pecha kettu vazhrathu than ponchathik azhaku. Ithellam unak appuram than puriyum. Pombalaya iredi...!”
“The beauty of a wife is in obeying her husband. You’ll understand all these later. Be a woman...!”
As per her the dignity of a woman is the dignity of the family. Two days! Only two days...!
I was in the makeup room in the church. The irritating noise of ladies brought me back to senses and I stood up to greet them respectfully. The touched my cheeks, forehead, hands and every part they could afford to as if checking me whether I’m a defective piece or not. The things that the man couldn’t do then. A lady came in while all others cleared the way for her. The silk saree in her hand was pure white with golden works. The battle is on! All of them began to clad me in the five feet fabric while I was suffocated and wanted some fresh air. Some ladies were talking about me which was nothing but offense. I felt mortified.
“Dho paaru Selvi...maambalm maathiri irukku ponnu. Aanaalum ennamo thappu thappa theriyith. Illeyaa?”
“See Selvi...the girl is like mango fruit. Though, I feel something strange. Right?”
“Enakkum anthamathiri than thondruthu. Ponnoda vayiru en ivalom perusayirukku?”
“I too feel like that. Why the girl’s stomach is so big?
“Antha ponnu karuvayirikkira mathiri thondruthu.”
“I think the girl is pregnant.”
That was the limit for me. I looked up furiously and yelped in pain when the rough hand of the woman ran though my lower abdomen in the pretext of pinning the plait of the saree. That bloody woman was testing whether I was pregnant or not! I jerked her hand away and told her I can wear it myself which made her fume. The entire room filled with curse and blames.
“Ennaa thimiru intha ponnukku. Sela sutra vidalaye...en...eppadi vidum...karuvirikkirenlleya...!”
“This girl is so adamant. Didn’t let them make her wear the saree...why...How’ll she let...when she is pregnant...?”
The whole church began to buzz on the hot news but somehow my parents managed to cool them out and they took me to the altar. I stood beside the man who never one’s looked at me. How will I manage to live with him? How will I talk to him? How will he approach me for the first night when he never saw me after the first so called official meeting? What will be his thoughts regarding the green room incident? Will he believe me? What if doubt me? What will be my life afterwards? What will be the thoughts of his parents, relatives, the ladies? Why am I worried so much when I know I’m not wrong? Is it because I’m a woman? Is my mother always right? Is it a sin to react? Is it impossible for me to get married after this fatal incident? Is that wrong to take a decision myself? Now?
Do you, Laxmi Xavier, take this man, George Sebastian, to be your lawful wedded husband, to love, honour and cherish her through sickness and in health, through times of happiness and in travail, until death do you part?
The question of the Father echoed in my mind...I was numb.
“DO YOU?”
“CAN YOU?”
“WILL YOU?”
I tried many...and screamed out loud
NO.............!

Author's Note

Please ignore grammar mistakes. The story is in a woman's vista...an age old society and the changes of thought blossoming somewhere invincible but invisible. I used the South Indian language, Tamil.And the custom of cladding the bride a saree by the relatives of the bridegroom is prevalent there...not only Tamilnad but also Kerala and some other part. The story is something born out of my thought and also a story I heard from my grandma. No offense. Reviews please my amazing readers...