Fate's Dice

An epic journey of the broken relationship.

Fate’s Dice

A poem by Alejandro Manuel Espinoza

For so many eons, I had been trekking amidst a never-ending plain of ice crafted land.
For so many eons, I had been trekking across a sheet of ice so same and so bland.
Atmosphere grey, I wandered beyond my familiar path on some vague blurry day.
Had I wandered beyond the stretch of God's plan? If he found me, what were He to say?

The aromas of black light began to swim under my ground, and I sunk below,
Submerged in cerulean depths, I drifted down into a pain I couldn’t fathom to know.
I struggled to gasp for what I needed to go on, I reached to take back the air that escapes to beyond.
After so long a struggle, I stopped resisting the pull of death, realizing that my end I can't
abscond.

And for so many years I let myself spin within the current of the timeless blue,
As my mind created its own translucent womb from memories and glue.

In a break of tampered time, blinding lights too dark to see woke me with lone fragrant spores.
My eyelashes fluttered open from the infinite, silent voyage with intangible boats and oars,
And I found myself still and naked among a great symphony on marble floors.

The opera dirge crushed to deep silence, as snow speckled ashen statues loomed near,
I spoke with my cold body, and the indifferent figures drew back in fear.

The moment I took breath, I knew Fate had called me here from the place of ice.
It had come, spoken to me, and dropped the dice.

Fate's dice began to twirl around me, gypsies with luminescent flutes, smiling.
Hypnotically I swayed, seduced by their touch and intoxicated with their sighing.
The silent orchestra weaved a dirge upon their endlessly ascending stage,
Joyously I swayed, drifting on the tides of this endlessly beautiful age.

"Hearken Ye Song Of Fate, This Gift From Above!"
"Cherish Ye Fate's Gift, For Today You Will Seek Love!"
The Passionate fervor and excitement bounding within
Gripped my mind and made it spin.
What is this gift adorned in packaging without flaw?
Fate promised bliss in my future, and I gazed through blurry glass in awe.

Into darkness I seemed to have danced, fallen into a vast precipice of broken distortion,
As they stand in a condominium in heaven, watching me writhe and squirm with contortion.
"Today You Will Find Love." the gypsies sing above me, audacity effluent in song
Deepening and thinning, the chasm closed around me, crushing me...The dice spoke only wrong

Nails screeching against slate,
I cried out into their abode in high clouds, my voice a conflagration of hate,
I cried out into the blackening empyrean,” Come, Save Me! Be Righteous!"
But all that they can show to me is how to exert sheer blindness.

Amidst this chaotic medley, hallowed beauty rippled like a silver tear across the purple horizon
Her form abstract, and her want exact, she sung, "Come To Me..." she drifted away, and cried on.
Through spiked bramble and shifting maze I followed, lured into the abysmal void,
Till I found her on black marble, and became possessed by the sadness her eyes deployed.

"Tell Me A Tale Of Sadness." she told me, glassy blank eyes laid against the black sky,
"Tell Me A Tale Of Sadness, One That Will Make Us Love and Cry."
Consumed with passion and the desire to fly,
I pursued her to tell her the story that will make us love and cry.

Through a black stone edifice of twisted imagination and truth, I came to lose my way,
In pursuit of the benighted ghostly goddess, who eluded me in the bright of day.
Through a garden of impossibility, frozen waves and prism rain,
I searched for the dark princess, to express to her my story of pain.

It was on top of heaven and under hell where I reclaimed her, unvarnished in a bed of worms,
And I laid next to her, blind to the slimy feel and disgusting squirms.
I was under the lake of fire and on top of paradise, so I cared not,
And I laid with her until my very inner being began to rot.

When I came to believe that this sepulcher was meant for two,
I awoke alone, colder than cold in the dead venue.
Rusted chains and crusted locks bound my prison door, and I was trapped inside
"Where Is My Love?" I cried out to echoes, and they cried back, "Her Love For You Has Died."

Harlequins of dark colors danced about my self-made tomb and spun around me, making jest,
"You Gave All To Your Goddess, and The Devil Took The Rest."

White lips curled and painted faces started to glare as Fate's Dice opened my prison to the squalid air.
"Between Two Places You Have Remained Too Long; You Must Now Play Hatred's Song."

The organ's music and funeral bells diffused through the blood blazoned skies,
Playing the unheard cacophony that cuts through the air when love finally dies.
Empty except for the unseen gift she gave me, the parasite under my skin,
I cursed at the uncaring skies above me, crying at God, "Where Have You Been?"

I turned my anger toward the missing jezebel. "Damnation To You, Harlot!"
"Had I Not Given Enough To You? Had I Not Loved You Until My Arms Drew Scarlet?
"Why Did I Fall For You So? Was Your Sex Laced With Meth? Was Love Just Cocaine?
Was This Love For The Both Of Us? Or For Your Own Personal Gain?"

Silently breathless, bells groaned and rung, and once more, the Opera Of Fate was sung,
He saw my body on the dust, leaned over me, poking fun, as I lay suffering amongst the dung.
"Contempt Guides You To Nothing, You Must Continue Once More, And Yes, There Is More,
Once You Struggle Beyond This Macabre Door."

The End of my path had begun, on my knees in front of the creation of Fate.
Never had I thought I'd kneel before a god, weakened and pathetic in this sorry state.
Fate's Dice danced as marionettes on strings, and they wailed from those wooden jaws,
As they tore apart my precious sky with inharmonious cries and sable claws.

Fading away, my world comes to bear down upon my shoulders,
And I beheld the beautiful abstract garden as it was crushed into boulders.
Tears in my eyes, I cried out desperately, "Oh God, Give the Black Skies To Me,
For That Is All I Want Reality To Be."

Fate's Dice danced for me, the final show,
They waltzed motionless on broken cogs, shifting madly to and fro.
Life was reaching its premature ending, in a crescendo of destruction,
Seeing at last the ground under me cave under eruption.

My existence as a glutton of sorrow had come to reach its death,
And I awoke to endless pillars of space and time, empty and without breath.
It is not amongst the dead I now walk, but I keep to the shadows of those not alive,
Waiting for the siren with toxic kisses and eyes like winter to finally arrive.

 

Author's Note

An epic journey of the broken relationship.