My Heart

My heart cried out in sullen plea;
Her throb, I felt did coarse through me.
She longed to fly as one with air,
She looked to the clouds and long did stare.
With something missing, I blame her not;
She's lonely, beholding an empty spot.
I cannot control her constant ache;
So I laugh, though for not her own sake.
I let her take me through deepest dreams.
I play along to her fantasies.
The day goes by, and I'm unaware;
For it 'twas one wall on which I stared.
Time flies past us at record speed
As we travel, the wide world to see.
And so we go, how she does race
As she takes me to each enchanting place.
We dance in the future, or we call it such;
Though I know deep inside its all to much;
The places we go I'll never see.
And a wave of deep sorrow rushes over me.
The pain this causes, my heart does cry!!
Still I muster the strength to look her straight in the eye.
She knows somehow what I mean;
It's all because she dared to dream!
Then someone moved across the room;
We're immediately back to our dreaded doom!
She drops to the floor and shudders in pain;
Disappointment floods, for we're home again.
We weren't really flying, though in mind were gone;
My body stayed here where it's been my life long.
Upon coming back, my eyes still fixed on that wall;
And I know we really went nowhere at all!
I smile and laugh to conceal the pain;
But inside she cries the tears in my name!
Then, though I pretend I don't really care,
I long for the day she'll take me back there.
The question lingers in the back of my mind
Though I dare dare not hope it to some day unwind,
Will the life we dream of ever exist?
Will we embark on the journys we so dearly miss?
We are forced to stay a little while
In this life were trapped in, so I manage to smile.
But inside the pain is so much to bear!
It seems my real life is headed nowhere.
A life with no friends waits for me
For a pin to drop and stop my dreams.
A lonely life is one of sorrow;
So I dream today as I'll dream tomorrow.
We go to a place where happiness
Is ours to hold though we face tests.
It isn't perfect, this life we want;
We dream of a life which still holds flaws.
The place we go in our far away thoughts
Is where many a lesson to me is taught.
Where I'm always trying to do my best,
And helping others, making a difference.
Surrounded by people who I love, and they me;
To the day I'll finally have my own family.
With dear friends and family to treasure and love;
United as one from our Father above.
Where love will finally rule my home,
And I will never again be left brokenly alone.
My heart longs to fly, for that is her dream;
And mine is to find the life meant for me.
I'll leave soon to look for that place in my heart;
And I pray that my dreams will come to impart.
For if there is never to be such a place
I'll forever be here, life to me a waste.
Surely I'm destined to more than a wall!!
Didn't He choose me? Wasn't I called??
I want to be happy, I want to spread love,
To move on to a future I'm sure of.
I want to pick a side, not sit on a fence,
I want to change lives and make a difference,
I want to care deeply for every little thing;
To me, it's that, or to care for nothing.
I want to work hard, and bear though the pain,
I want the trials, for they end in gain.
I want to be all I can possibly be,
I want a family, I want to be free,
I want to stand for what I believe,
I want to give all there is of me,
I want to run, if for nothing else,
Than to thank God for the joy inside of myself!
I want our home to be made of love,
Inside the woodwork, and the space thereof.
I want to taste it in the food we eat,
I want it's comfort under our feet.
Give me a purpose and make it a dream
We'll think about it, my heart and me.
Surely life is more than this wall!
This sad broken feeling as my heart falls.
I have to go, I have to see!!
To find all life could hold for me!!
Surely life could be more than this dream!
I will fight to make it reality.
I cannot accept anything less!
I will not live with this pain in my chest!
For my heart flies in my distant dreams;
One day we'll both fly, my heart and me.

Author's Note

This one gets kinda long. Does it get boring or do you stay with it? Or is the whole thing just... Bluck?
This one I wrote from experience. Add the title implys, what's in Mt heart. I attempted to tell what a normal day is like for me. I feel like I can't get my message across and nobody knows what I'm talking about, like thay get lost in there. What do you think??