Leave a Candle Burning

Leave a Candle Burning

A Poem by Reba

Leave a candle burning
At the step of Heaven's door
Let it burn so brightly
May it weather every storm.
For I've strayed from Your love
And I'm lost out on the street
Father leave a candle burning
For me.

Leave a candle burning
On the ledge of Your sill
Though the night is long and lonely
Leave it burning still.
For I've left Your leading light
And in this dark I cannot see.
Father leave a candle burning.
For me.

Leave a candle burning
In Your lighthouse, tall and strong
Let it be my guide to shore
And leave it the night long
For I've drifted from Your harbor
And it's an awful deep sea
Father leave a candle burning
For me.

Leave a candle burning
In my heart, so I can find it
Let it be on fire for You
And be it always lit
For I've let my flame die out
And I've found myself so lonely
Father leave a candle burning
For me.

Leave a candle burning
Let it rest gently in Your hand
So I can always find you
No matter where I am
For I've left Your trusting side
And I'm blind and cannot see
Father leave a candle burning
For me.

Leave a candle burning
Where You want to lead me to
Never let it go out
So I'll always come and find You
For I've wandered far away from You
And I want to come Home to be.
Father leave a candle burning
For me.

© 2016 Reba


Author's Note

Reba
Okay so, just tell me the truth. I need to know how this is. Thank you so much for any input on it. I've left most of the punctuation out of this one because that's one thing about poetry I know I don't understand. If someone would be so kind to give me tips on punctuation I'd greatly appreciate it!! Please use my above poem as examples.
I write because it's my escape from the world. I don't think most of its very good. I joined this site because I have a dream to become better.
Thank you!!

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Reviews

This is absolutely beautiful, and has so much potential and a little of room for improvement before it's tuned to perfection. The main problem is that it falls flat on musicality. The fluidity of the thoughts are not quite as smooth as they should be. Listen to it as you read it aloud to yourself, and you'll hear how some lines are screaming for more syllables in order to reach the desired poetic flow. I would also extend the refrain, for the "for me" rhyme falls flat, also due the lack in musicality (and by extension, I mean to simply repeat the "leave a candle burning" so it reads: "Father leave a candle burning/Leave a candle burning/For me"

You ask about punctuation, now: The tricks in poetry regarding punctuation are similar as prose (what with commas and periods). This poem, from what I've red, shows no need of fiddling around with fancy punctuation like dashes and colons and what not. Simply apply the appropriate grammar rules for commas and periods, and you should be fine. The main critique concerns the musicality. Tweak the musicality so that everything flows smoothly, and you'll have yourself a genuine gem. Magnificent start! If you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask.

Posted 7 Years Ago


This poem is beautiful! Though I don't know much about punctuation, I'd love to read more of your writing.The idea of this poem is inspiring and it is very well-written. Don't stop writing and don't let anything get in the way of your dreams!

Posted 8 Years Ago


Reba

8 Years Ago

Aww, thank you SO much!! Encouragement does the same as writing advice to me. Thank you!
I really like the idea behind this write. No person is perfect, all we can do is head toward that light until we find it. I never studied poetry writing either, I just put down on paper the words that come. Read others work on the site, see how different people approach their different styles. It takes time to grow. We all are still growing. Valentine

Posted 8 Years Ago


Reba

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much. I can't wait to get reading on everything else!! ;)
This is great. Punchy title, flows really nicely. I wouldn't change a thing. It speaks to me of the struggle of faith. Nice job.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Reba

8 Years Ago

Thank you! That means alot to me. Thank you.

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Added on October 28, 2016
Last Updated on November 4, 2016

Author

Reba
Reba

About
I'm a girl with big dreams. I'd love to be good at writing someday, I enjoy it very much. I know I have alot of work to do and a long ways to go. Maybe you can help me? Aside from writing I enjoy .. more..

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