Troubled dreams

Troubled Dreams

It's yet again one of those nights...when I wake up from my sleep with a lot of effort. I want to get back to my sleep peacefully...but something stops me..an unknown fear...so strong...that the dream will continue...and I will experience the same again with some weird noises in my head when I try too hard to get out of it.

I dreamt of such things since I was a little girl. My whole family used to sleep in one room. So whenever I had such scary dreams, I used to go and sleep closer to my father..then the dreams or rather nightmares would go away. At least I could continue to sleep.

One night I dreamt of realizing someone being right next to me on my bed... I could hear the breathing. I was scared to turn around and face it. So I pretended in my sleep to be asleep..if that makes sense. Then the hand slowly approached my waist and my neck...I was too terrified to turn..however I made an effort. But I could barely move.

Horrified.. I tried hard to get out of my sleep...realizing it was a nightmare...and I got out of it after some loud noises in my head. My heart was beating too fast. Based on my past experiences..since my dreams usually continue if I go to sleep immediately after..I waited for an hour to pass..it was 4 am.

On doing some research on these symptoms, I got down to the conclusion it was sleep paralysis with head exploding syndrome. It started after my high school though the dreams were always there.

Today it was me stuck in a place where I didn't want to be. On getting an opportunity, I flew (literally) to a far place where I wished I was not found and taken by them again. They had the ability to trace anyone anywhere. Just then my mind started to wake me up but I was not able to. It actually takes a tremendous effort to get off the dream and even more to be able to sleep again.

The dreams are not the problems...actually it is the helplessness I feel when I am not able to get out of it..or come to the real world...and the exploding noises in my head makes it worse...causing even some pain around my neck sometimes.

Will it ever end?!