[1] Daddy Never Said

The Past: Starts with Alli's childhood, growing up in a small town, her interest in her mother's past, and getting into some trouble. Most characters will be introduced within this first Chapter.

October 15th, 1815

 

Very rarely, Papa would have to ride into our small village.  Papa was a farmer.  He would look over the ready-to-harvest fields and his eyes would narrow and his face would get tight.  That is how I always knew we were about to go.  He would take me with him every time he went to the village.  Together we would fill baskets and baskets with our harvest and put them on our strongest horse, Miyon.  We would tie Miyon to his favorite horse, Shyna, whom we would ride to the village.  It was always early when we left, the sun not even awakened yet.  I would fall asleep against his back, breathing in the smell of hay and dust. 

 

When we arrived, he would nudge me awake, my eyes opening to a bright morning sun.  In the village, he would visit old friends and do some trade.  As Papa worked, I played with a boy named Killan.  He was the youngest child of one of Papa’s friends.  Killan was almost two years older than me and very kind.  We would play until sunset when father called me to leave with him.  I would wave good-bye and Killan would cry, his deep brown eyes shining beneath his tears.

 

Even more rarely than these trips, Papa would speak of Mama.  On our way home this most recent visit, he spoke of her for the first time in several months.  

 

“You see that there, child?” he asked, pointing ahead to the left.  There was an old building there.  It seemed as though it would crumble at any threat of wind.  It looked dark and cold and unfriendly, filled with memories of its forgotten youth. 

 

“Yes, Papa.”  I gripped his waist tighter, feeling the strong warmth of the horse beneath us.  The sun was on its fall.  And soon even cooler air would follow. 

 

“Your mother used to dance there.  Nearly every night, she did.  Best dancer Ireland has ever seen.”  He nodded and though I couldn’t see him, his voice made a wounded sound.  He missed her dearly.

 

I gazed at the building that no longer seemed so dreary in my eyes.  Rather it was brighter, lovelier than at first glace.  For the memories it holds is that of Mama's.  Memories I so desperately wanted.  I smiled and knew right then how I was going to get them.

 

That night, I made sure Papa was sleeping and put on the prettiest dress I could find.  I clipped my hair up with mother’s special pin and went to the resting horses.  My horse, Ailin, stood immediately at my approach.  Papa gave me Ailin because he said he was the most handsome horse in all the land.  I agreed.  He said he was all mine and I had to take care of him.  But I was never allowed to ride him without Papa around.  That was just one of the rules I was breaking tonight.  I hoped Mama would be with me, watching me, protecting me.

 

I soothed Ailin, handing him a carrot I found on the table in the kitchen.  I walked him out to the road, he followed obediently.  I struggled to get on him.  He was so tall.  I never tried to get on without Papa’s help before, but I was determined.  I wanted to be where Mama once was.  Few things were left for me when she died.  Even fewer were the words Papa spoke of her.  It was almost as if she never existed.  Mama’s death was my fault.  Papa would argue, but I knew.  If it was not for me, she would be here today and Papa would be happy.  Ailin nudged my shoulder and I realized I was crying.  Wiping my face, I was filled with renewed determination.  Eventually, I got on the horse.  I prayed a small thank you for making me tall for my age.  Gripping his blackened straw-like hair, we rode out into the night.

 

We rode for what seemed like forever and I was worried I would not remember the way.  But I could feel Mam watching over me, as if she was guiding Ailin and I.  Soon, I saw it ahead. 

 

Author's Note

Had to hurry this one along, so sorry it is not as descriptive as I had wanted it. Let me know what you think!!