IF ONLY

projections

I am told that the U.S Army

has its regulations concerning wounded soldiers

and their rehabilitation

if they are unfit to return home after the War upon return to my room

my mind continues in thought

 

I have learned that they sustain bases in Europe

for more convalescence

I shall not conceive that he

could be sent to another country

what to do? Without him nearby?

our souls are forever entwined

still, our presence shall be distant

that alone would change my life unreservedly

who knows if he shall ever be the same man

the one I used to meet at bridge’s end upon his leaves

from the War

oh, those meetings at dusk in each other’s arms

lips to lips, tongues to tongues, everlasting raw passion

 

If he is sent to a faraway safe place further

I must ponder our separation forever

our love could not sustain any longer

our devotion would fade with time

I ought to return his engagement ring

which I have worn in my heart

I do not believe he ever knew how much I loved him

and still do

all my doubts and needs forgotten

if he could just hear my words now

he would know how I have changed since the pregnancy

be proud of me

I have grown up

I am an expectant mother

and he is the father of my child

if he only knew

perhaps he shall surprise me