OBSCURITY

We dawdle on the beach

pinky to pinky

in a breeze of melancholy

on a moonless night

onyx sky hovers

ominous mood

ripples of waves lap the shore

 

Sundry in deep notions

no words willing

each timid of what may befall

an unwieldy stance

until a hearsay commences

extensive stretches of a hushed walk

 

We sit near a lopsided sandcastle

staring into murkiness

pausing for one to utter a word

silence is anguish

no one wishes to melt the ice

Author's Note

Thank you for reading

Reviews

[Pete]

this is so cool. love it. certainly among my favorites of your's. stirring to say the least. thanks for the trip to the shore. well done.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you always Pete for a great review!!!
Warmly, B

[Snow_]

I thought this was a loving poem. But this looks a bit deeper. As if they fought in the past. Lovely poem.

pausing for one to utter a word
silence is anguish
no one wishes to melt the ice

[Betty Hermelee]

thank you for visiting and a lovely review!🌷
warmly, B

[Mauricio Montoya]

Its a good a good read love your choice of words makes one wonder, great imagery with flow love the ending, how can one melt ice accept on a beach., lol thank you for sharing.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you so much dear Mauricio!
Warmly, B

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

what a captivating vignette. i like the pinky to pinky bit, it reveals so much about the relationship between the personae. but then there is an unexpectedly dark turn. the mood is suddenly dimmed and cold. i kept seeing this image of a loving couple, but both are weirdly quiet. maybe something has happened? we don't find out.
it's a great drama, the writing is also polished. i'm left feeling a tad unsettled but i'm glad i came across this.

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

i just remembered you're from NC. this poem makes sense now. my condolences. i've also lived through a natural disaster.

[Betty Hermelee]

thank you for your kind review
warmly🌷

[Lorry]

Wow! Your last line just ties a silent bell and whistles on your write here Betty.
And I did have to read it again because I interrupted myself by coughing before I had done.
Obscurity to me sounds like an ideal and not a punishment, but different strokes for different folks and all that. We all like our own favourite flavours, yet we don't banish Dr Pepper drinkers, because they can make up their own mind up to pretend it's not disgusting and a sin against nature, but getting back yo the point..... yes, obscurity... not everyone will be looking for a brochure to book up their holidays there, but where would you get such a brochure? 😃
Which reminds me... must take my bucket and spade to fix any of those lopsided sandcastles!
What is hell for most would be heaven to me!
First order of business would be to erect a welcome to Obscurity sign, with the tagine "blah!"
😃

[Betty Hermelee]

thank you Lorry for your generous review!
warmly
B🌷

[jacob erin-cilberto]

So many relationships freeze up for good because neither is willing to melt the ice with a word or two.

[Betty Hermelee]

very true J. and thank you for a perfect review🌷
Warmly, B

[Soren]

"A breeze ofmelencholy" "onyx sky hovers"great lines. Nicely done Betty

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Soren, you picked the best lines!
great review…
Warmly, B🌷