UNDAUNTED

When time is up

An aged man stumbles and falls on a gritty path

in the thick of a forest

landing on his decrepit knees, he twists to a sit up

impossible to go forth, his infirmity forbids

undaunted, and familiar with creatures of the forest

he notes that he is not alone

one kind spirit shall find him

 

In the past, he has tumbled many times

different venues

though weak, he manages to rise and

continue his journey

this fall, he muses, may be the last

frailty shrouds his rickety body

he perceives his age and physical condition confines him

 

Content with this notion, he waits patiently for

his eminent demise, accepting

grasps for nothing

vulnerability lives within

 

He scribbles some words to leave with his rucksack

this holy ground is where I leave you

now I am with my forest creatures for whom I am eternally grateful

 

 

Author's Note

Thank you for reading

Reviews

[Sunflower/Sara Kendrick]

Ahhh!! I feel the emotions, the physical condition, the wrestling with aging within these lines. Thanks for sharing this one with us. Sara K

[Betty Hermelee]

thank you so much for visiting Sara, and writing a lovely review, much appreciated🌷
warmly, B

[Amy R]

What a brilliant write, u made everything make perfect sense, the flow is really good to.,
The ending was super good, and carried a powerful message. Thanks for sharing.
-Amy

[Betty Hermelee]

thank you Amy for a lovely and thoughtful review!
warmly, B🌷

[Amy R]

You're welcome.🌸

[Poetic_Vixen]

It is somehow serenity into this description, this man exhausted of walking through life finding a place where he finds peace and fulfilment, where his pains are eased, your lines have beautifully achieved the emotion and scenery compliment it and it makes it a beautiful read!

[Betty Hermelee]

thank you P.V. for an intuitive and lovely review, much appreciated🌷
warmly, B

[Poetic_Vixen]

You're very welcome my dear friend ❤️

[Thomas W Case]

Beautiful work, Betty. Sharp and vivid.

[Betty Hermelee]

thank you Thomas for your kind review, sorry for the delay🌷
warmly, B

[Mauricio Montoya]

I was once homeless but then I rode trains knew where every train would go by its cargo but time would pass and so would I until I thought I would ride again but it drop.me off in a forest down deep in a valley, I knew no train would save me if I didn't find a highway to get me to my goal but old and tired I would never know unless I would stand and fight the will to survive to stand the test of time. Great write .
Thank you for sharing.

[Betty Hermelee]

thank you dear Mauricio for a lovely review🌷
warmly, B.

[Mauricio Montoya]

You're awesome and welcome and God bless.

[emmajoygreen]

A beautiful picture, a gentle tone holding the reader within a poem.. a finish but - Life as we don't know it.. yet. For me, this is a welcome - not death. Shows how death can come whenever and might not be the ugliness we know of. For self - having seen and felt too many deaths in my birth family, would prefer the walk into' his holy ground is where I leave you, now I am with my forest creatures for whom I am eternally grateful'

That is how leaving life's party should be - not artificial lights and white clothing and clatter and.. and..

Rather than tragic, your words are beautiful, dear Betty.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you EM for a heartfelt review; A bittersweet ending to life...we should all experience an ending of grace ...Hugs, B

[emmajoygreen]

How very true. Hugs and best wishes, as ever, dear friend.

[Re-Pete]

not a bad way to go really. there is a sense of peace in this along with poignant descriptions. love the title and pic. well thought and conceived.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Pete for you very introspective review, much appreciated...
Warmly, B

[Stella Armour]

This is beautiful Betty, i love this kind of poem that contains elements of our spirituality and how our souls become more content and accepting with age.
If i had written this i would be very pleased with myself as i hope you are as your words describe the vulnerabilty of a life well lived coming to an end, he has fallen and risen before but now is the time to rest in peace.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Stella for a lovely interpretation of my poem…. i am smiling! i hope you are well….read moreThank you Stella for a lovely interpretation of my poem…. i am smiling! i hope you are well….
warmly, B🌷

[Arundass TP]

Old man, must be wise with forest creatures. I was thinking why he is there. Nicely written poem

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you TP for your review
Warmly, B

[Lisasview]

I always enjoy a good story my dearest Betty... One with a beginning , a middle and an ending...sort of like my Forevermore poem about my own death. Really liked it...Yes, when ones time is up...
Being confined by age is such a sad thought... we all need to strive to be content in the end...
Life is so very very short...
How are you feeling...how is your shoulder.
Lisa

[Betty Hermelee]

Hi Lisa
Thank you so much for your thoughtful review; yes life is short… my shoulder is coming along slowly; PT twice a week ( and sore after!) this is a long haul!
I hope you are stable with your knee… getting old isn’t fun! All the best to you!
😊🌷warmly, B🌹