BOTTOM OUT

too much Bourbon

T'is a frosty eve

plentiful snowflakes tumble

from a droopy sky

quietude outside except for

clumps of fresh snow

smack off the evergreens

moon and stars are glacial

backside of the moon and stars

icy clouds

 

Inside is a smoke-filled bar

toasty with a blazing fire

onerous drinking since dusk

two vintage men

pals since college

share bright times and heartbreaks

straight bourbon

one shot glass after another

only they catch the meaning of each other’s words

 

The chatter is abundant

distressing as each dispenses

the bottom out first

harrowing deaths of young children before their parents

obnoxious breakups with revolting repercussions

lasting retributions

in which the children are collateral

uplifting memories buried in the drink

 

The banter heightens at midnight

flush cheeks, nose to nose

yet space remains

then silence

they lay their heads on the bar top

and weep as do infants

 

Reviews

[Thomas W Case]

Powerful work Betty. You make it come to life.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Thomas, glad you liked it
Warmly, B

[Ken Simm.]

Atmospheric with a feeling of personal truth here. Excellent visuals and wordage add to the atmosphere superbly.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you so much Ken, appreciated...
Warmly, B
PS I have not forgotten you! 2nd eye surgery healing...

[Ken Simm.]

Hope it is going well.

[Betty Hermelee]

Yes much better, and thanks for your concern!
Warmly, B

[mou]

The atmosphere and the burning pain are speaking for each other. You've beautifully painted the nature first and then slowly brought the inevitable reality. A poignant write.
- mou

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Mou for a superb review... much appreciated
Warmly, B

[mou]

It is always my pleasure to read your words!
-mou

[Soren]

This feels like a new story but may be just an interlude. A most interesting setting and one of some roughness. The imagery is very well done and conveys the atmosphere as well as the emotion of the place, I can almost hear its noise. Well done Betty

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Soren for an astute, lovely review!!!
Warmly, B

[Betty Hermelee]

PS it just sits by itself!

[Sami Khalil]

Lots of sad subjects shared; end was empathetic. You portray a most realistic, sensitive scenes with a good message.
Humanitie's bottom is falling out.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Sami, a very poignant and understanding review
Warmly, B

[Sami Khalil]

Wow! You are welcome Betty

[emmajoygreen]

Superb but sensitively worded tragedy, dear friend.

From clearly and finely laid words, two buddies meeting, chatting and sharing cheers' time at a bar, you slip into those two final phrases - and cruel reality sets in. How realistic is that... what a jolt, what sadness hides behind that extra drink or two, Betty.

[Betty Hermelee]

OH Emma, you always see the most important words in this poem, and what a very compassionate review!
Sending hugs, Warmly, B

[John the Baptist]

In my long ago bar days I can't recall two guys laying their heads on the bar in a bout of simultaneous weeping, but there was always the danger of sitting down next to some specimen who was eager to bend your ear with his tale of woe. That's one reason I don't go to bars anymore. The other is my wife won't let me.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks John for your very personal review!
Warmly, B