EXPOSED

moods in the rain

Sloshing through onerous rain

my eyes teaming with drops

continually muttering her name

soaked straight to the bone

I am inept to find her

past the dense mist

 

I stumble on a tree stump

and land near a puddle

helpless to stand I sit forlorn

pitying myself

reflecting on our moods of the day

it is improbable that I will reach her

to justify my words

 

she runs swiftly into a cloudburst

and darkness draws near

no stars to light the way

no sense of control

 

I see her in my mind’s eye

although quite blurry

a grimaced face,

blue-green eyes with wet lashes disclose all

we quarrel near the end of our heightened moods

she disappears screaming unintelligible words

no questions, no answers, no whispers

I hunger for her return

for I do not wish to close the curtains

not just yet

 

 

 

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

A minor quarell with a dear friend ended up in a stormy way; wet, screaming and willful departure albeit temporary. Some want control but others will not have of it, hence losing the sense of it.
A high intensity poem and revealing.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you for a spot on review Sam!
Warmly, B

[Sami Khalil]

Wowzy woooo. You are welcome Betty

[Neville]

One would be extremely hard pushed to cram any more feeling into a single poetic work than has been so successfully and strategically crammed here .. Now read more times than I have counted .. Indeed, I doubt one shall get tired of doing so .. Neville

[Betty Hermelee]

WOW Neville, what an amazing review, I can tell you read it more tan once! Thank you, thank you!
read moreWOW Neville, what an amazing review, I can tell you read it more tan once! Thank you, thank you!
Warmly, B

[Neville]

My pleasure entirely B .. N :)

[Coyote Poetry]

I felt the struggle and the need in the words dear Betty. Sometimes what we want is so near and is so far away too. I liked the energy and the motions of your words. Thank you dear friend for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you John, much appreciated...
Warmly, B

[Arundass TP]

A beautiful emotional piece. The words are powerful and creative. Good poem

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you for a thoughtful review!!!
Warmly, B

[Akinlolu]

Smiles.
This is vintage distillation of visceral emotions interspersed with an intensely personal experience. You take the reader on a dark journey and strip your emotions bare, layer by layer. It's no delicious experience but this is for me a delicious read.
Wishing you many more years of beautiful writings.
AKINLOLU

[Betty Hermelee]

A lovely review AK... very thoughtful...
Thank you so much....
Warmly, B

[andrew mitchell]

A dreamscape poem where you are running to connect with someone from your past or even reconnecting with you from yesteryear. Intriguing, mystery who Dunnit and why poem. Most enjoyable.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Andrew, much appreciated
Warmly, B

[Lorry]

You capture the feeling of something ending before it's time well here Betty. That feeling of helplessness at not knowing if you will ever get to explain and your life coming to an abrupt pause until you know if it's the end or hopefully be a to be continued two parter episode in your life..
And that's even without me mentioning how well I know that feeling of being soaked through and lacking the energy to go on. I think there was a song once that makes me think of that very feeling...just a sec...................no, there's not a song called the soggy bottom blues. I was thinking of the band gorge Clooney was in with the movie "Oh brother. Where art thou...they were called the soggy bottom boys.

https://youtu.be/08e9k-c91E8?si=2kYOetrrY6ZfmgEg

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks for a great review Lorry, much appreciated…
Warmly, B

[Lorry]

You're welcome. ☺

[John the Baptist]

Has the sound of a regular activity. If both speakers are likeminded, the speaker need not worry. She will return.

[Betty Hermelee]

I like your review, closest to my thoughts, thank you immensely
Warmly
B.

[Dave Brown]

What have you been smoking??

[Betty Hermelee]

Well ah……can’t think of da name
BESTBBBB

[Stella Armour]

This feels as though you have been dreaming about some who passed away that you had fallen out with and did not have the chance to say you were sorry or you loved them and the argument has tormented you in dreamstate , as you run after the image so real in your mind it goes and you wake up wanting to go back ... ?

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Stella for a very thorough review, much appreciated...
Warmly, B

[Stella Armour]

Good morning Betty, several different interpretations of your intriguing poem i see .... :)

[Betty Hermelee]

YES! so interesting to me...Enjoy your Saturday!
Warmly, B