EXPOSED

moods in the rain

Sloshing through onerous rain

my eyes teaming with drops

continually muttering her name

soaked straight to the bone

I am inept to find her

past the dense mist

 

I stumble on a tree stump

and land near a puddle

helpless to stand I sit forlorn

pitying myself

reflecting on our moods of the day

it is improbable that I will reach her

to justify my words

 

she runs swiftly into a cloudburst

and darkness draws near

no stars to light the way

no sense of control

 

I see her in my mind’s eye

although quite blurry

a grimaced face,

blue-green eyes with wet lashes disclose all

we quarrel near the end of our heightened moods

she disappears screaming unintelligible words

no questions, no answers, no whispers

I hunger for her return

for I do not wish to close the curtains

not just yet

 

 

 

Reviews

[Ayvid N]

"she runs swiftly into a cloudburst
and darkness draws near
no stars to light the way
no sense of control"

A lover's quarrel and so beautiful in its intensity of emotions tempestuous. Sometimes, one sees an end coming but just doesn't want to accept it, yet. It's the heart that's stubborn always.
Loved it!

[Betty Hermelee]

Again, dear Divya….you have a wonderful understanding and can read between the lines… love the review….
Warmly,
B

[Thomas W Case]

The pain is palpable. Great work Betty.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you so much Thomas
Warmly, B

[mou]

The anguish and the vivid imagery seem to get intertwined densely. I feel if love can ever be measured, then it must be done through the poems written in their (lover) absence. I just love it. Thank you Betty for sharing the wonderful work!
- mou

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Mou, much appreciated
Warmly, B

[Ken e Bujold]

In any poem I read I am always hopeful of finding one image, line, or metaphor that is so arresting that it will linger with me long after I have set aside the page.
She runs swiftly into a cloudburst
and darkness draws near
no stars to light the way
is just that. A beautiful image, superbly rendered. Well done Betty.

sorry for the delay, but been down a rabbit hole of late.

ken

[Betty Hermelee]

No apologies necessary, and thanks you Ken for a superb review! much appreciated...
Warmly, B

[Richard🖌]

Hi, Betty; "Happy Spring!" 🌺

Along with imaginative title, your artwork choice perfectly introduces the deep, despondent mood your accomplished pen has so poignantly stroked upon the page.
How hopelessly frustrating it must feel to race so fervently to catch and embrace someone that keeps moving away, just beyond reach; and, the stormy scene your words so vividly paint in metaphoric clarity, emphasizes and brings to life this emotion in the reader's mind's-eye.
Whether passed away, merely left, or stretched psychologically out of reach, there is no doubting "she" departed in dire straits and needs to be rescued with a caring, apologetic embrace before becoming irretrievably lost.
"I do not wish to close the curtains
not just yet" (whew! what an ending)

One that moves powerfully deep, as to keep drifting through long after reading.
Once again, Betty, your skills capture and enfold imagination ever-so tightly! ⁓ Richard🖌️

[Betty Hermelee]

WOW!! Richard what a flattering and thoughtful review...I cannot thank you enough....much appreciated...
Warmly, B

[Richard🖌]

You inspired me. : )

[Weeping willow]

Wonderfully spoken words filled with images inside every words, Beautifully done ;-}

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you so much for your image-filled review!
Warmly, B

[Panhead Rod]

I had to read this twice, and both times I feel you chasing the Sun and warmer dreams... A very nicely written piece. Loved it.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you for stopping by and a lovely review!
Warmly, B

[Pete]

hmm. nice one. a case of be careful what you go looking for, you might find it perhaps? you always like to leave the door of possibilities slightly ajar even as she's seemingly running far. i hope she finds cover or an umbrella ... :)

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Pete for your Astute review...Go Pete!
Warmly, B

[Tom]

Our alter-ego, she got all the answers 'tis why we chase but can't get too close, up and personal, we are falible despite our want/need for perfection, so we keep on chasing, ever and forever..

' no questions, no answers, no whispers

I hunger for her return

for I do not wish to close the curtains

not just yet '

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you so much Tom for a fine review, much appreciated!!!
Warmly, B

[John Sullivan]

Beautiful and wistful stuff, Betty.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you John for a fine review, glad you liked it!
Warmly, B