DILEMMAS

breakup and then?

After sweet notions about my soldier

I must begin to organize my cabin

to get ready for debarkation

a fleeting thought regarding the gentleman’s

paper he so kindly put in my hand

shall I keep it? Or toss it away?

Flashbacks of our times together

Keep appearing before my eyes

I must stop this behavior yet I fail to

dispose of it

I shall safely keep it with other notes

and various papers as a memento

of our private affair long gone

 

My guilt and demeanor these last days

Provoke a heavy awareness on my shoulders

Something I must contend with now

After three months of separation

I sense that I may not recognize him

As the same person I knew heretofore

What rendering shall I present to my soldier?

Composed and unruffled?

Or enthusiastic and spirited?

 

At once I must grapple with my own guilt

Do I disclose this affair at all?

If I do not then I shall carry this weight

Forever

If I do, He shall never trust me again

And may cast me out

Further, I shall be alone anew

 

Oh, what a  dreadful  concept

I feel as if I am stuck in deep water

Mired in high reeds of grass

Powerless to sidestep my own shadow

I did not  discern what a monster

I have fabricated

I do trust my soldier shall empathize

That this affair is closed, forgotten

 

I deem that a glass or two of sherry may comfort me

No matter what, it shall help me sleep on my dilemmas

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

SERIES: "AT BRIDGES END"
Thank you for reading!

Reviews

[AYVID N]

The guilt of unfaithfulness is one of the toughest to deal with. The dilemmas are damning, to confess or not, the consequences of it, and she is in a place of anguish. One thing I do feel certain of, and that's her trepidation at uniting with her soldier. There's no spontaneity of joy when she wonders what kind of demeanor she may present to her soldier. I'm relieved she didn't throw away the gentleman's piece of paper. I enjoyed this chapter, dear Betty.

[Betty Hermelee]

I'm so honored with your reviews Divya...they are so insightful and complete..it's a pleasure to read them...thank you so much!!!
Warmly, B

[Kim S.]

I think k it's alright to be confused at times, I stay that way more than half the time. LOL
I enjoyed your words in this write. Very nicely put.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Kim for stopping by to review my poem…
Lovely personal comments
Warmly, B

[cheyenne s garcia]

:(
this piece brings me to tears.
Also, left wanting to know more... Made me get an odd feeling. What dear writer, is the message here?

[Betty Hermelee]

The message is confusion …should she tell her finance about her affair or not!
Thank you for your review
Warmly, B

[cheyenne s garcia]

O.k.
All is well.

[Poetic Beauty]

It isn’t easy being married to a person in the military. Many times they are gone for extreme periods of time. Sometimes you don’t even know where they are in the world or exactly when they will return home.

This happens alot when a spouse or even the military person get lonely. The honest and the feeling of the dilemma and the weight of it all held on the shoulder. It can be brutal.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you PB for a fine review, appreciated.
Warmly, B

[Poetic Beauty]

You are welcome as always. Being emotional human beings isn’t easy

[Coyote Poetry]

A soldier life. In the Army. Divorce rate. four time higher than the civil world. I liked the honest tone and honest thoughts in the worlds. Hard on the men and hard on the women. War, make the movement of life different. Thank you dear Betty for sharing the amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote

[Lorry]

If in doubt, reach for the sherry decanter and sleep on it (the dilemma, not the decanter)
I guess we all have our secrets tucked away in an envelope, secreted away in some unopened locker, like a misguided treasure chest.
Personally, there is nothing more freeing than turning those memories to Ash and making them a distant memory, but that's just me and I know it.
Or maybe I've just been unlucky and don't meet anyone much worth remembering.
Until of course my current lady, which goes without saying and the only reason I did mention it is I've shown her this site and the next time she raises that eyebrow at me, I'll know its for saying this and make my way to the naughty step without being told. ☺

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Lorry for a great review!
Warmly, B

[Pete]

i can feel how torn she is. i think it's going to take more than a glass of sherry though. what will she do? is it worth the cost to reveal? perhaps her soldier will forgive her. hmm ... :)

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks always Pete for an insightful review; who knows?
Warmly, B

[Soren]

Yes the old dilemma of honesty vs. concealment, paired against that of retaining what you want vs. loss. To make things more difficult is the lack of certainty in either cause. With that many variables it is impossible to give odds either way so best to do what will leave you at peace in the future A piece that has been well developed for this very dilemma. Nicely done Betty

[Betty Hermelee]

Wow Soren! a very perceptive review, love it!
Warmly, B

[Dave Brown]

a glass of sherry?
Because you are more or less an emotional mess I think you should consider chug-a-luging a full bottle of vodka
BESTB

[Betty Hermelee]

Davie, thanks for the tip, I’ll consider some Couvoisier 100 proof! Thank you my Bestie
Warmly, B

[Thomas W Case]

Tremendous setting of the scene. Great work.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Thomas for a great review, much appreciated

Warmly, B