HER

Visions

View of my lake

from a creaky old deck

Flat as a pancake without a ripple

fingers of dark green water seep well

Into crevices of barren shore

Nude trees protect her with pride

boats with canvas covers

empty docks lay still

slumber for winter

in a landscape painting

of a gloomy day 

I appreciate these times

when the sun sleeps away short hours

of the clock

and my stubborn knee prevents me 

from my usual three mile walk

It’s a time to reflect

way back when my parents

owned a lake house 

and we kids paddled our canoes

my poor dad watched in horror

Thinking we might tip over

Snapshots of our childhood

vivid images of yesteryear 

I hold fondly to my soul

my withering corpse 

fraught with bulging, crooked

gnarled bones

fumble like they’re about

to meet defeat

Yet until such time

I remain connected to her

in awe of her

prior to my last lonely breath

Author's Note

Thank you for reading!

Reviews

[Neville]

what incredible disclosure and recollections Betty .. thoroughly enjoyed write from the off .. Best, N :)

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Neville for a very fine review!
Warmly, B

[Thomas W Case]

Beautiful imagery, Betty. Powerful work.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Thomas, much appreciated!
Warmly, B

[Patricia Wedel]

The last chance to dance… caress the 🌖 Moon with a Night Cap… where Stars are Butterflies with Silver eyes… I will fly away where Sunshine is a warm place to be and Sip the Nectar of the flowers… tenderly, Pat

[Betty Hermelee]

beautiful words dear Pat, thank you so much!
Warmly, B

[Richard M]

Hi Betty

I know you're an artist and you've painted a beautiful picture here, it was as if I was there. I always like reading/seeing boats and waterways, etc. Great storytelling.

Take care
Richard

[Betty Hermelee]

Many thanks Richard...a fine review..
Warmly, B

[Einstein Noodle]

wow! stunning closing lines Ms. Betty.. i am in that age "group" that reflects ... ruminates and accepts things past, present and future .. all, relatively speaking, out of our control .. i love your poem .. it comforts and wakes me at the end ... we are headed for the last roundup, aren't we all?! :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
E.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks for a lovely review E. much appreciated.
Warmly, B

[willweb]

Something tells me there is more to this than just memories of childhood though it does bring back some memories for me but, the lakes I recall swimming in are long gone now. We all age and we all disappear eventually. Nice one Betty

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks so much Will, appreciated!
Warmly, B

[Stella Armour]

it is amazing when we have to stop being busy for whatever reason because then we see things as they really are instead of just fleeting glimpses.
Painting the canvas with your mind's eye of how things used to be is your own creation and no one can ever challenge that.
A lovely write Betty ....

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you so much Stella, appreciated
Warmly B.

[Stella Armour]

my pleasure Betty :)

[W. Barrett Munn]

Hello, Betty,

I like the idea behind this effort and the genuine feelings do come through. I also think your poem could us a little tightening with revisions and an emohasis on not Telling us how you feel but using words to try to Show how you feel: case in point, “I hold fondly to my soul” is telling. Maybe something along the lines of: that makes my heart reach out to touch the memory.

Take none of this as a personal judgment of you or your efforts. Keep what helps and toss out the rest. I can only speak as someone who has been lucky enough to have had poems and short stories published that a great service to yourself is to develop a dispassionate attitude toward your writing and revise it as if it were a stranger’s and you their editor.

Winston

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks Winston, much appreciated!
Warmly, B

[Pete]

you've become quite the poet. this is what thoreau referred to as the "marrow" of life, the times, people and places that left their mark with us. "she" was blessed and probably didn't even realize it at the time as most of don't until it's gone ... :)

[Betty Hermelee]

A beautiful review Pete, love it.
Warmly, B

[emmajoygreen]

That lake is your memory, a place filled with sights, people, moments reaching forever. You have such a magical way of making letters come to near unique life..

'Nude trees protect her with pride
boats with canvas covers
empty docks lay still
slumber for winter
in a landscape painting
of a gloomy day

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you dear Em for a fine review….you chose my favorite words! We do think alike!
Hugsread moreThank you dear Em for a fine review….you chose my favorite words! We do think alike!
Hugs
B.

[emmajoygreen]

(Wondering if 'near unique' is logical?!)

Hugs back, take care, keep warm...

[emmajoygreen]

Reading this again because it is beautiful, dear Betty.

'View of my lake
from a creaky old deck
Flat as a pancake without a ripple
fingers of dark green water seep well
Into crevices of barren '