A FRIGHTFUL JOURNEY

Storm's up

A FRIGHTFUL JOURNEY

 

Dismal blue gray seas roll and pound

white caps smack waves

clouds undulate to match the rhythm

 

My soldier’s ship

pulses with dark angry ocean

dense black clouds close in to obscure the horizon

“Restricted vision”, says the captain

“All hands-on deck with telescopes or field glasses”

 

The ship’s bow plunges beneath the billows

further surges upwardly for moments

majority of men puke over the side

at one time or another in an opportune cycle

enraged storm clouds pursue the vessel, outpace it

with a slaughter

rain pellets souse the soldiers on board

 

Before long the ship accedes to the wrathful swells

which sweep over the bow and upset those who slide on platforms

suddenly, and without admonition, the ship capsizes

everyone scrambles for their lives

many do not know how to swim

Not a rescue boat detectable

 

I awaken with a scream and sweat on my silken sheets

I envisage my love's face down at sea’s bottom

clutch my face to bring myself to certitude

acknowledge my true distress

when my darling is on leave

and genuine desolation without a mask

I shall cry authentic tears when the mood prods me

moreover, I lay there with heavy breath

after a macabre eve

 

I shall rise and prepare a cup of tea, steam the milk

step out on the porch to listen to songbirds to comfort me

and deem that my love is unhurt and well aboard the transport

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

---

 [EH1]

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

I was taken by the force of your words to the deep abyss of your story as if to drown with your beloved sailor. This reminds me of the waving lady in Savannah;in your case, the waving poetess

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Sam, for a lovely review!
Much appreciated
Best, B

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome 😊

[emmajoy]

From start to finish you took your readers on a journey in such a visual way, we felt what you did, if only briefly.. until we calmed.. again as you needed to and did, Betty. Is your dark, quite large font intetnional.. as if to display the power of your words and the tale they told? Having read your pome once, taken in the phrasing, I looked the second time and realised the that strong setting. It somehow fought my senses as I read the following, too,
' men puke over the side
at one time or another in an opportune cycle
enraged storm clouds pursue the vessel, outpace it
with a slaughter
rain pellets souse the soldiers on board. '

Such a dramatic yet realistic post, Betty.. am both moved and shaken by the entire gift you've offered. Leaving you a rare, 'Brilliant'
'

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Emma for a brilliant review... sometimes I use the bold print..it makes a statement!
read moreThank you Emma for a brilliant review... sometimes I use the bold print..it makes a statement!
Hope you are well,
hugs, B

[emmajoy]

What a lot of mistakes in my review, so sorry.
Yes, read yet again.. brilliant!

[Betty Hermelee]

I love your review!!!

[willweb]

My friend Betty, this has to be my favorite of your so far, and due to the fact that you are an amazing poetess, that was not an easy choice to make but I made it. This was dark and dreary and dangerous and deep and a bunch of other D words I can't think of right now. Wow, this captivated me and I felt like I was on that ship being tossed about by the waves. Really cool.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you dear Will, yes it was pretty scary, but thanks fully only a dream!
Best to you
read moreThank you dear Will, yes it was pretty scary, but thanks fully only a dream!
Best to you
B.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this is so real, so eerie.
Like all the ballads that talk of ill fated ships and their crews.
Something that definitely would cause one to wake up sweating.
And I got a bit queasy reading this one....I am not good in boats.
Your descriptions are just incredibly detailed.
j.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you dear J, neither am I good on boats!
Best, B

[Chris Shaw]

An atmospheric mare suitably scary. Stepping out on the porch to hear the song birds with a cup of tea a great way to slow that heart beat down after its fright. Loved the description Betty.

Chris

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Chris for a spot on review...scary to calm (with birdsong)
Best to you,
B.

[Lorry]

It sounds like the definition of a visit from the hagridden mare, otherwise known as a nightmare. No gentle easing awake into the day for you with that lot going on and little chance of getting back to sleep with that lot going on.
Even dreaming it would be enough to keep me on dry land forever!

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Lorry for you creative review!
Best, B

[W. Barrett Munn]

Well, frightful it is. You did a nice job changing the pace of the poem between dream and non-dream

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Winston for a fine review!
Best, B