UNFORESEEN

two unforeseen moments

UNFORESEEN

 

An unforeseen storm brews

in darkness, pellets of rain

pound the filthy windows

they get wind of it inside

a decrepit smoky bar

men of age booze Southern Comfort

smooth, slick sinks like a malted shake

bartender keeps the pour in action

empty bottles pack the old bin

 

A viscous haze hangs low over the tables

like cumulus clouds touch mountaintops

burnt cigarettes in a plastic ashtray

men cuss inebriated to the core

chatter heightens to a gaudy pitch

stench of whiskey and fumes

cough up mucus and often blood

 

As the bar closes and all settles

just before a purple dawn

drunks stagger back to their wooden cabins

to dry out and snore their sleep

 

As the fog recedes from view

Unforeseen, an illusion of a young woman

in a lace wedding dress

stands alone far beyond the field

a kind breeze strokes her white veil

a tree partially obscures her figure

while a yellow halo spirals around her

without delay, this apparition evaporates

 

Unforeseen, no one, not even the birds awaken

to behold this splendid moment

 

 

 

Reviews

[Dennis Wolf]

I loved the descriptions.
Partly because I've spent more hours than I care to admit in similar surroundings...

The apparition, seemingly unrelated to it all adds a nice touch, it truly was unforseen. But, I have to wonder if she's somehow connected to something described before... Perhaps someone who used to visit that place long ago...

Or perhaps that she was a portent of events yet to come, events that no doubt promise change...

Or finally, if this whole thing is a little bit of exploration of the self.. In a way.

I could certainly appreciate the haunting beauty of this in a painting.

Cheers

[Betty Hermelee]

And you Dennis for stopping but to review my poem….excellent review!
Best, B

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you!🙂

[Dennis Wolf]

You are welcome.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

the apparition unseen because men can be inebriated in their narrow focus...they miss so much...
she is a reminder.
j.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you J. for a spot on review!!
Best, B

[Mauricio Montoya]

Wow, this is good, the wild wild west the first stanza and the second brings the south but Iove you ended it yes the love for women it's what brings us down
Thank you for sharing

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Mauricio for stopping by and leaving such a fine review!
Best, B

[Mauricio Montoya]

Excellent write, thank you.

[Betty Hermelee]

You're very welcome!!!
Best, B

[Mauricio Montoya]

Keep writing,

[John the Baptist]

Quite a change of scenery in this one. One moment we are in a bar, beholding the charming behavior drunks are famous for. Got to love 'em for coughing up mucous indoors. They finally break it up after last call and stagger back to their cabins to sleep it off. Then, suddenly, we are beholding the appearance of a young woman in a wedding dress standing beyond a field. A halo forms around her head and then she vanishes. No one sees this apparition. Well, as they say, there is a yin and a yang to everything.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you my dear friend for a fine review....yes it's like part 1 and part 2....you got it!
Best, B

[Ken e Bujold]

the boys in the bar: been there, done that.
the girl in the field, in her wedding dress: now she has my curiosity peeked
makes me think, ought to write a memo to self, next time i spending night carousing with the boys, have one less, and stay up to see the sun rise...who knows what mysteries i might see

ken

[Betty Hermelee]

You're spot on Ken, those drunkards didn't what they were missing.....only she knew....Thank for a fine review!
Best, B

[Dave Brown]

I certainly hope she has had her flue shot

[Betty Hermelee]

I don't think so Dave!!! Even you missed the illusion!
Thanks my dear for reviewing.....
read moreI don't think so Dave!!! Even you missed the illusion!
Thanks my dear for reviewing.....
Best, B

[Dave Brown]

Understanding poetry is not one of my stronger capabilities I even had to ask my wife what an illusion is, although isn't there something about a thingy called a pictionary or dictionary or something
all so confusing

[Betty Hermelee]

YES!😇my dear Dave🙃

[willweb]

Wow, such an eerie and dark scene that finds a light at the end of the road, an apparition of beauty and calmness silently observing...undetected, unnoticed, unforeseen. Beautiful Betty, this was really nice. I like the scene you created in the smoky bar and the feel of this poem as the mist and fog hover, bringing a grayscale to the canvas.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks Will, you are much appreciated for your loyalty and excellent reviews!!!
Best, B