KEEP UP THE RHYTHM

losing ground.....

 

KEEP UP THE RHYTHM

As the blistering summer sun fades into a lighter hue

cool, dry breezes flourish

burned beach goers flee the pearl sand and blue green waters

locals still stroll

few hide under their beach towels

for a quick smooch

 

So too, at summer’s close

rose’s petals wilt

In small increments

they lament their color loss

shrunken, edges turn a burnt hue and dry up

until their final slumber

 

So too a life terminates

heretofore, it wilts, shrivels

organ’s rot with pain and fear

life around it is in decay

slow agonizing aches

take their sweet time

keep up the rhythm

 

While the face contorts

the corpse parches to an enviable thirst

drains to its half size

onward to its final demise

poked flesh, bony, bluish hue

Rose and Rosie’s ultimate deformed fate

 

Author's Note

Thank you for reading

Reviews

[willweb]

They always say age is just a number and I always respond...I know but does it have to be such a large number? I see this in several different ways, the cliche way and the, oh well, might as well make the best of any situation that comes. Like another said, yes, those roses will wilt and the petals will fall to the ground but come spring we will see them blooming again. Nicely done my friend.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you dear Will, forgot that I wrote that!
Best, B

[Vertigo Cat1111]

The imagery and the visuals of this are honestly beautiful and chilling. I love this write and all the different interpretations that can come from it. I relate to feeling as if I’m withering, sometimes you just feel older than you are, in all the worst ways. But after some withering and molding, we bloom from the winter back into the spring. I loved this piece and the beautiful words and passion you out into it. Thank you for sharing. (:

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Cat for your very thoughtful review!!!
Best, B

[Dave Brown]

It is difficult not to be resentful of the aging process
So many enjoyable capabilities slip away, too often accompanied by suffering, and a long winter sleep does little to improve it all.
Plants do a better job of slipping away with many attractive colors to mask the process and a near guarantee to reappear bolder and brighter the next growing season.
Perhaps on my application for reincarnation I'll see if I can come back as a huge Maple that turns bright red in the fall!
Nothing ventured, nothing gained!
Cheerful subject matter BESTB

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks Dave for hearty review!
BESTB

[Patricia Wedel]

dearest Betty… our Roses will rest all Winter…
then in the Spring and Summer they will be part of the Operetta with Notes and Buds in Harmony. Beautiful Sentiments … as the Weather has a Rhythm 🎶 that beats with our 💜 Heart…. gently, Pat tenderly, Pat

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you dear Pat for always looking at the bright side!
Best, B

[Robert Haigh]

Old age is not a great place to be, in some ways. I am 74 years of age now, and although I am still quite sharp of mind (I think!), my joints complain on a daily basis! We all have a one-way ticket in life, not knowing how long the journey will take! But I am grateful to still be alive. Many people do not even reach old age. I look upon each new day as a gift, and I try to get something worthwhile from each day as it comes. Your poem has both sadness and celebration running through it, to my mind, Betty. We know we cannot live forever, but we should be grateful for the days that we have on this planet, however many or few they may be. A poem that made me ponder my own mortality, but as we age we begin to do that!

[Betty Hermelee]

Not al of us suffer before we die; some die quickly and peacefully.... I was writing about the long suffering ...Thank you so much for your review!
Best, B

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Rose and Rosie...."Rosie, you're alright, you wear my ring"

this is such well-woven allegory...reminds me of William Blake and how well he did allegory...

so many meanings can come from such a write.
I really enjoy your writes, Betty,
j.

[Betty Hermelee]

That is such a great compliment J! I'm flattered
Thank you my mentor,
Best, B

[John the Baptist]

Yes, the future does look bright, doesn't it? Those last two verses are heavy stuff, B. Probably won't make it into the brochures of retirement communities, but the end of the story can be bleak. I personally would prefer a morphine drip.

[Betty Hermelee]

me too!!! Who wants to suffer, even a rose?
Thanks for a fine review John!
Best, B