TWISTED RAILS

saying goodbye

TWISTED RAILS

 

Train snakes along twisted rails

my tears behold your hand

smaller as it waves goodbye

trust our yearnings are one

you melt away

merely memories lodge in our spirits

once our halves conflate unruffled

 

In my mind

your leafy green eyes

plump pink lips

bronze skin

flawless teeth

all burnish like the sun’s radiance

or as photos under candle light’s blush

 

Author's Note

I will be away for a week, please excuse delayed responses, Thanks, B

Reviews

[William Michael Reeves]

Perception deceives. As they travel away on the rail the memory doesn't get smaller. Bigger as it fills your tear. The rails twist in the radiant heat shimmering like a mirage. Your poem conjures all kinds of visions. Like a verbal collage.

Leaving? You have something better to do than drink poems in the cafe? We'll save your chair for you.

[Betty Hermelee]

Hi dear W., I'm back in the cafe! And thanks for a delicious review!!! Best, B

[Robert Haigh]

Yes, farewells can be heartbreaking, even if we are sure we shall see that person again in the future. Our eldest son lived in Iceland for two years (we live in the U.K.), and my wife and I and our younger son went on a very short trip to Iceland to meet up with our absent son. It was great to see him, but saying goodbye again as we headed to the airport was a dreadful wrench. My wife wept buckets of tears. Your poem brought those memories back. Now our eldest son lives in the U.K. once more, but we live 200 miles apart, so we still don't see him very often. Your poem is brilliantly expressed!

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks Robert! A thoughtful review!

Best, Betty

[JE Falcon]

"all burnish like the sun’s radiance
or as photos under candlelight’s blush" --- love this ending. It's just perfect for this easily read poem, smoother than any train track. --- Thanks!

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you J.E.
Best, B

[John the Baptist]

Well, farewells do suck, don't they? One gets the feeling this parting may be for an extended period, maybe for good. For some reason, this one makes me think of WW2, maybe because railroads were the main mode of transportation in those days. They took many a GI away for the last time.

[Betty Hermelee]

A belated thank you (been gone!) for a lovely review
Best, B

[jacob erin-cilberto]

what a great final two lines.
"photos under a candle light's blush"

j.

[Betty Hermelee]

A belated thank you J, been gone!!!
Best, B

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Saying goodbye always holds such melancholic memories. Perhaps because it confirms a hidden fear of possibility. That it may be the last time you see someone that occupies a piece of your heart. Your powerful poem is a reminder of what we leave behind, but is never far from our thoughts. Thank you B for the art you share and hope to see you soon again with us here.

[Betty Hermelee]

Dear Carlos, welcome back, missed you, and thanks for a great review@
Best, B

[Dave Brown]

My eyes are yellow ochre so obviously this isn't meant for me but have a good (?)time anyhoo
Super dooper image
B

[Betty Hermelee]

Dear Dave, I'm back!!! and belated thanks for reading my poem!!!
Best, B