DISPARITIES

a short tryst

DISPARITIES

 

Winds waft us in concert

In a quirky blueprint of disparities

Alone, we scrutinize

He, a gentleman of circa forty

I, an angelic fifteen, a virgin

Is this serendipity?

Or the will of the cosmos?

 

My apprehension emits

He, mindful of this sentiment

Withholds his appetite

To swathe me in his arms

Nevertheless, the intensity of heat

Between us, exposes our intentions

 

The cosmos takes note of our standing

Which is avowed as ravishment

Thus, the infuriated gale

Abruptly sucks us apart

As our cores cool

To a bluish hue and fade into

Icicles in the clouds

 

Reviews

[Throwing Romeo]

In the here and now
breathless gulp.
Once upon a time
14 years was but normal
to wed.

This passionate glimpse
transcends time.
Proof that Romance
only breathes loves
unfulfilled desire.
Two entangled parts
slow dancing words
her young vibrations
echoe still.

After all poetry
remains alive when its
personal.

One of your best!

R.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you so much for a lovely and thoughtful review!
Best, Betty

[cheyenne s garcia]

Loved reading this, as I read it out loud. You are well off with illustrating for us a picture of indeed serendipity. Nice!

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you for your kind review.
Best, b.

[Patricia]

Well shucks! It was getting warm and bam and ice storm came sweeping in, but brilliant! Can’t say that’s ever happened to me, or maybe it did and I just refuse to remember, I have a knack for that. Love it of course, so I leave my quirky comment ;) Hugs darlin’ Love P.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you dear P., so happy you popped your head in, always appreciated. Hope your other projects are keeping you busy. Hugs and hugs
B.

[Patricia]

Yes, still scribbling now and again but not well but yes other projects are getting done

[Fabian G. Franklin]

It sounds like every schoolgirl crush on a male teacher to me; sweet but innocent. The child views every kindness and interest as a "romantic" connection or expression while in honesty, it's just the teacher doing their job. I've seen this sort of thing before. Some kids romanticize knowledge or learning or worldliness and experience. It can be a dangerous tightrope to tread for the adult however; trying not to hurt the feelings of the child while remaining professional and courteous. It's something most professional educators will experience at some point in their profession and a situation to be handled with delicacy and understanding. This seems penned from the perspective of the child and not necessarily giving an accurate representation of the reality involved.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you for your review Fabian.... A teacher has a responsibility; one is he shouldn't be f*king a 15 year old.. or even touching....he could get into big trouble...she on the other hand wanted it!!!
Could be lots of mayhem...but I didn't go that far....hope you are well

[Fabian G. Franklin]

It doesn't matter what children want. They want to eat candy all day. Fifteen is just a baby. I wasn't aware there was any sex involved since the poem states quite the opposite in "withholds his appetite". I took the high ground in pointing out the perspective may be only that of the girl child and not that of the male adult. And all adults have a responsibility to protect children, not only educators. But I've seen the other side of the coin too; pedophiles and perverts with no sense of decency or decorum taking advantage of children and winding up in prison where they belong. I'm fine. Hope you are as well. F.

[Betty Hermelee]

Good point... I didn't specify the "act' but even the idea of an adult and child eyeing one another could lead to disaster....I am fine too.
Best, B

[Ken Simm.]

The intricate and delicate description of something that is still deemed off limits and taboo. A wonderfully evocative piece that it some ways gave me the shivers. In others made me sigh.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks Ken, I just reviewed your story... the owl...
Best, B

[JE Falcon]

The form is very good, the meanings are clear, and I can see nothing to put asunder. I loved it!

[Betty Hermelee]

Well thank goodness you approve and even like it!!!
Thanks so much for reviewing, appreciated!
Best, B

[Dara]

Your words so delicately describe a passion that while taboo and forbidden in the present day could become electrifying. I love the way you have presented it and give us food for thought and discussion.

[Betty Hermelee]

Hi Dara, so nice to have you stop by; many thanks for a fine review!
Best,
B.

[KAREN]

Powerful poem here. The imagery is great. I like the way you use the clouds in your poem.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you so much Karen!

[KAREN]

My pleasure!

[Chris Shaw]

Such attraction and yet the age difference between this pair is wide. In the eyes of the law she is under age which would would carry penalties these days. Perhaps in the past, not so. Looking back in British history children were betrothed to one another centuries ago. It happens. Doesn't mean it's right. Straight out of Mills and Boon Betty. Good to read you my friend.

Chris

[Betty Hermelee]

You’re right dear Chris, this is considered a felony today, but since it’s a poem, everything is on the table!
Best always
B

[William Michael Reeves]

I immediately felt you were writing about another era. When a young woman was betrothed to an old man whom she had never met. And hopefully some of those unions so long ago were good for both. They had to be. It's the way it was. Pretty thought provoking stuff Betty. Human nature vs. modern morality.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you, W.; in today's world that might be considered child molestation...but this was all supposition....best, B