RED HOT COALS

lost love, mixed memories

THE RED-HOT COALS

 

What rattled my core

To roll with the foamy waves

Across a vast ocean

Fright and ghostly beneath

 

Is it the rift which sliced us apart?

My precedent lover and I

Our affinity decayed

Into a charcoal black crevasse

 

Twice I was chuffed home

On a ship of poor souls

Against my will

Alone in a place

Shrouded with dust and mold

Indeed, a potent wind

Could not squander it away

Merely the pot belly stove

Touched a bright spot on my spirit

 

I read again the old yellowed

Letters from him

As my eyes welled with shreds of tears

I shan’t safeguard them

Or my mixed memories

Shall blight me.

 

I glanced out of the cob-webbed window

Therein was a Robin Red Breast

He was pecking away

Then he looked up at me and chirped

I could sense a smile on my face.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Thanks for reviewing!

Reviews

[William Michael Reeves]

You sure do like that color don't you? Black. Black daggers and now we're falling into a black crevasse. I love that second stanza! Decayed affinity. Then you ever so gently lift the blackness to reveal that little bit of a smile. You knocked me down and picked me up. Just what a poem should do.

[Betty Hermelee]

Great review W... really appreciate...
Best, B

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Betty, your use of imagery is divine! One can feel the despair as the letters are read, and then feel the hint of a smile as she sees the Robin Red Breast! excellent poetry!

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you so much, so appreciated.
Best, Betty

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

My pleasure!

[Chris Shaw]

'our affinity decayed ' sorrowful words to go with the yellowing letters. That little robin and his bright red breast came to the rescue. Nature can be such a healer. Lovely poem dear Betty.

Chris

[Betty Hermelee]

indeed Chris, and that's what I was aiming for, a semi-happy ending....And thanks for a lovely review
Best, B

[Patricia]

Oh yes! This is my kind of stuff! So full of emotion, light and dark, colorful but black and white at first, excellent!

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you my dear P. Love colors, but black and white too!!
Hugs, B

[JE Falcon]

But was the smile forthcoming? I breathe only for the reply and the reading of it. :) --- Nicely done, I really like this one!

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you J.E, a nice review.
Best,
B

[Fran Marie]

your descriptives are so well
defined..old love letters stirring
the emotions the pot- belly stove
one can envision it all..deeply
expressed in well chosen words
spring has arrived..have a mama
robin in my back yard carport she built
her nest..birds do bring cheer don't they

Nice Work herecBetty

[Betty Hermelee]

YAY for Birds that sing to us!!! And a big thanks for a great review Fran....
Best,
B

[Lisasview]

Oh gosh.. "Is it the rift that sliced us apart" Fantastic use of that word... sliced...I could feel it... remember it.. and the colors...well, as an artist colors in a poem always speak to me..
There are so so many lines I could speak of which yelled out to me... I reread your poem several times Betty..
Oh yes, and the draw one in to read your poem...the title...perfect..
Lisa, now in rainy Spain

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Lisa, a fine review! Rainy Spain should be sunny soon. Take care
Best
B.

[Dave Brown]

in spite of what all may have been, Mr.(and Mrs.) Red Robin are always a pleasant sight because it means spring is just around the corner
The bird that brings us the biggest smile, pot bellied stoves aside, is the swallow
Two nest by our bedroom window year after year after year.
Dry those eyes and keep enjoying the chirpers

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks for a great review Dave!
Best
B.

[Ken Simm.]

Mixed lovings. I like that concept and the structure of this strange romance. Lots of layers to consider and stories to read.

[Betty Hermelee]

A thoughtful review Ken…. Thanks so much!
Best
B.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Don't fret too much dear. The only Old yeller I get to read is about a dog and even that makes me cry. So did the yellowed letters become fuel for the pot bellied stove? I was happy when the Robin brought you a smile. If the Robin had smiled it might have creeped me out a bit. They're such dirty birds, always showing off their red breasts and such and you shouldn't trust a smile from some-birdie like that. I've never been on a ship of poor souls but I hope if I make the trip someone remembers the pennies for my eyes. Charon wants paid and I may have to forego paying the piper to have enough for the ferryman. But that will definitely be a trip against my will. Did you really leave the same fellow twice? That's tough. The piece was so sad I was glad when the bird broke up the depression. I hope it stayed that way after you reached your destination. Good read; nice strong descriptions. I'd say I enjoyed but I wouldn't want the bird to take it the wrong way. So I gave it high marks instead.

[Betty Hermelee]

A very analytical review which I appreciate!
Thanks Fabian….
Best,
B.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Nah, I don't "analyze" much. I just have a quick wit and a strange sense of humor. But I pay attention. I do observe and listen. I know what I like and I'm never afraid to say so. I'm not afraid of anything that I know of. I do have a distinct dislike of poisonous spiders. I got bit by a brown recluse once and I've held a grudge ever since. And they're so sneaky and quiet, you never know they're there. I enjoyed the write.

[Betty Hermelee]

You definitely have a creative personality….I appreciate it!

[Vertigo Cat1111]

The atmosphere here is so strong, and burning red. Every line is wonderful, but I particularly loved that last line. ‘I could sense a smile on my face.’ From beginning to end it really engulfs the reader and wraps them up in the story you were telling. I adored how the poem felt melancholy and darker but then it ends that little hint of positivity. Thank you so much for sharing!

[Betty Hermelee]

Wow! Amazing review! Thanks so much for your detailed review!! Really appreciate it.
Best, B