ICE BLUE EYE

suspense

ICE BLUE EYE

 

She pretties herself at the antique vanity

Plucks her thick eyebrows

Table mirror slightly shifts

Glossy red lipstick, powdered nose, blush cheeks

 

In the mirror

She captures the corner of his face

His left nostril

Ice blue eye

Brown-hued brow

Streaks of dark hair

 

Her silk pink robe, one side off shoulder

displays her ivory white skin

 

She’s frightful of his abrupt entry

Door unlatched

 

She twists to face him

Sits on her furry vanity stool

 

Close to the doorway

He retrieves a red brassiere

Strewn on the floor

Twirls it around his arm

Demeanor of mistrust on his mustached face

He queries without words

 

Her core frigid, eyes flashing at speed

Clammy hands shroud her face

He withdraws, brassiere in pocket

Slams the door

She whimpers, a cat’s cry

After, a deep sigh of soul-stirring relief

 

Reviews

[KAREN]

Nice flow! I like the descriptiveness, and the mystery in this poem!

[Betty Hermelee]

A belated thank you Karen
Best
Betty

[KAREN]

My pleasure

[JE Falcon]

This is a very suspenseful poem, but I am left with a feeling that I have missed something(?). Possibly this is a Noir, a scene from some detective drama. If she had said something, like, "Just Whistle", I'd know who he was. --- Maybe I'm supposed to do the choosing. Alas, I am confused. ... However, just because I don't see your vision clearly, doesn't mean that there is no vision. This is a REVIEW, and no matter what I or anyone else says, this is your work, and you have every right to make of it what you will. Because, if you make this poem into what someone else wants you to, then it is their poem and not yours. :) Happy writing!

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you so much for your review. I believe each reviewer has a different take on each poet's writing. There is no write or wrong...it's however you interpret it.
Best, B

[JE Falcon]

Write, :) you are.

[Fran Marie]

I feel the sense of fear
on her part and his mistrust
within the lines, you keep the
suspense going in this one
very interesting with vivid
and well expressed descriptives

Nice work

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks Fran for a great review!!!
Best, B

[Chris Shaw]

A captivating write Betty. How the mood changes from a seductive one, to one of fear and then relief. That door slam must have been welcome. Love the build up here, the detail and the finale. Most enjoyed.

Chris

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks Chris, I loved your spot-on reviews!!!
Best, B

[Miss Sharon]

Awesome write Betty! (Demeanor of mistrust on his mustached face He queries without words) Very poetic my dear. ~Sharon

[Miss Sharon]

And that photo is perfect for the poem and also mesmerizing! ~Sharon

[Betty Hermelee]

You’re too kind Sharon, thank you so much for your review!
Best
B.

[Dave Brown]

Pure Hollywood
You've been watching too many late night movies
Perfectly captured

[Betty Hermelee]

I know Dave!!! Thanks for your perfect review!
Best, B

[rmarrwrites]

Great poem, love the descriptiveness and the twist at the end.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you so much for visiting and reviewing my poem
Best
Betty

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

I really enjoyed the details in this poem and the ending was so meaningful. "She twists to face him," that line is so powerful and amazingly put. tyfs

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks so much for a fine review!
Best, B

[Ken Simm.]

I think this is senuousness cubed and what a denoument. But then what do I know. i'm only male.

[Betty Hermelee]

Wow Ken, I love your review!
Best, B
PS I owe you.,

[Patricia]

I love this! Done in true B fashion! I just love the way your mind travels and taking us with you is such a trip!!! Love P

[Betty Hermelee]

YAY another home run!; thank you from my soul P.
Hugs😊