LOW LIFE

nature, moods

LOW LIFE

Flatland creeks
coil nearby wavy grassy marsh
brackish waters
sprinkle with reflections
of blueish hues
lowland pasture stretches
to the horizon
sunsets stroke the edge
vanish into thin air
nightfall allures a full moon
illuminating the wetlands
evening swamp creatures resurrect
entwine in love nests
music of passion
In gentle humid breezes
Till violet hues of dawn
hush the midnight song

My moods follow the soft curves
of the creek
if they waddle through the mid line
my spirit is buoyant
fish-tailing along with ripples of cool lemonade
yet, if I bounce off an earthy bulge
my spirit drowns to the murky bottom
where I lay while the bubbles play in the air
once in a while my head bobs up to breathe
but slumps with despair
perhaps if I play with my water creatures
they will lift my spirits towards the sun

Reviews

[Pete]

we are inextricably linked with nature - it speaks to us and we can garner moods from it. you took me there and i felt the mood in your well chosen words.

fantastic -

My moods follow the soft curves
of the creek
if they waddle through the mid line
my spirit is buoyant

poetry at its finest. i love it. bravo ... :)

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Pete, I really appreciate it.
Best, B

[Mike Keenan]

Really like the nature and its description, but would omit last stanza. A few word choices - resurrect? allures and nightfall? summons maybe. into thin air? why not just vanish?

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you for your review and your poetic teaching
Betty

[William Michael Reeves]

I really like how the first stanza is fairly serious then your mood lightens in the second. And the idea of the colors of the dawn quiet the music of the night. That's some excellent poetic wax!

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks Will, really appreciate
Best
B.

[Fran Marie]

The catchy title drew me in..
the play on words..tricky
so many good lines within
this one with vivid descriptives
and metaphors ..you take the
reading through the highs and
lows ..you spin the tale so smoothly
here.. much enjoyed this one..

nice work

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks so much Fran, a great compliment!!!
Best, B

[Chris Shaw]

The reader picks up on mixed emotions here Betty. The first part of your poem is visually beautiful. How well you paint a canvas of the lowland pastures. Lovely description. The second part of your poem is rather sad. The whole poem could be interpreted as a metaphor. So very nicely penned dear poet.

Chris

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks always Chris for a lovely review.
Best, B.

[Chris Shaw]

You are welcome my friend :)

[Vertigo Cat1111]

The nature and the description of all of this is absolutely beautiful and breathtaking, throughout the whole entire poem. It has so much a poem should have, mystery, with beautiful visuals. I love how this is somewhat similar to the water itself you talk about. Always moving and this poem seems to cover so many emotions in a such a smooth way, like a river. I love how it has no exact set emotion, it’s such a beautiful piece with so much passion. The visuals are especially breathtaking toward the ending, and takes on a slightly darker tone. The last few lines really say so much. Thank you for sharing!

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you thank you! A great review!
Best
B.

[Lisasview]

Let me begin with the photo you chose.. Fabulous.
Your poems is quite interesting as you compare life..your life? The the up and down..flow of the wetlands..
Ending it with...." Perhaps if I play with water creatures....this line reveals a sad soul..searching for more in their life..
Really liked this Betty,
Lisa

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Lisa, appreciate it!
Best
Betty

[Lisasview]

You are quite welcome..

[John the Baptist]

Interestingly, the word picture in the first stanza is uniformly positive in describing the charm of the wetlands, while stanza two, which deals with the speaker's emotional states, is a mixed bag, describing both highs and lows. Thus is it with the human spirit, with its ups and downs. The wetlands, on the other hand, are just what they are.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks John, always a lovely review!
Best
B.

[Patricia]

Ahhh ya fooled me with the title, then charmed me with the imagery and sultry mood of this piece, dreamy!!!!! You are so good at this! Thanks B for always surprising me with beauty

[Betty Hermelee]

You’re too kind P. But I thank you tons for your excellent review; you were spot on, like you were reading my mind.
Hugs
Me

[Patricia]

Well deserved praise my friend ;)

[Patricia Wedel]

The ebb and flow of the Tide… is Gentle on your Mind. The Seagulls and I know the Melancholy overtures of the Lowlands Marsh. Gently, Pat

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Pat for your “ sweet” , heavenly reviews.
Best,
B.