SALTY MISTAKE

mistakes in relationships

SALTY MISTAKE

 

I sense remoteness

On his morning breath

Absent touch

Dearth of passion fruit squeeze

Eyes paint frigid blue

Vacuous face

Wooden torso

Dispassionate cologne

A salty mistake

Author's Note

BREVITY POEM: Thanks for reading and....
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!

Reviews

[Oydrin]

Brevity is always nice. I think its construction and brevity aligns with the remoteness of emotion that the poem's subject is being described by.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you for visiting and reviewing my poem
Best, Betty

[Anuja Sharma]

I think you hit the words on right moment. Just got out of a bad one and truly knows the repercussions of ignoring the red flags. Ugh, I hope god have given us some special powers to sort this out.
Nice read Betty.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks Anuja and best wishes for a great forthcoming year!
Best, B

[Patricia]

Yikes! Time for a trade in ;) I love, love, love this!

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks so much P, just read yours!!!
B.

[Patricia]

You're welcome, and thank you, knowing you it was most definitely a kind review. :)

[Patricia]

BTW I read this one to my husband, he had such a laugh over this, he said that every man you ever dated was probably wondering if it was about them and probably won't leave the house without a hat, sunglasses and a trench coat. LOL we couldn't stop laughing! What a great write!

[Betty Hermelee]

So glad I made you guys laugh, that’s a winner for me!😇

[Gee]

Tis how Pinocchio's squeeze must have felt as their relationship petered out :))
Good morning Betty, hope you are enjoying the holidays and are well

[Betty Hermelee]

Good afternoon Gee, and thanks so much for your review! Holidays were great, hope yours were as well; Best, B

[Dave Brown]

in this area, at this time of year, salt spends little time with emotions and much more time melting ice
Perhaps it can also soften frigid relationships

[Betty Hermelee]

Yup you got it Dave, sometimes we make big mistakes in our relationships…..but today is a happy day!
Merry everything!🎄🎄🎄🎄😊

[John the Baptist]

Using imagery well, this one describes a relationship in trouble. I would say if this response is experienced much longer, it's splitsville. All of the succeeding images point in that direction. The last line has me stumped, though. I can see how "mistake" fits, but I'm drawing a blank on "salty."

[Betty Hermelee]

Spot on John….will not work out..thanks for your review! And merry everything!🎄🎄🎄😊
read moreSpot on John….will not work out..thanks for your review! And merry everything!🎄🎄🎄😊

[William Michael Reeves]

Salty passion like a mistaken margarita spilling into an empty endeavour. If you learned something then it wasn't for nothing. And you got a poem out of it anyways.

[Betty Hermelee]

An empty endeavor for sure..thanks for reading!
Best
B.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

one-night stands should sit this one out, I think.

j.

[Betty Hermelee]

I think so too J. Some just don’t work out….big mistake….happy holidays and thanks for reading😊

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Attractiveness and allurement often get us making many a bad choice in the moment. There are a few in my past I wish I would have chosen differently. A very relatable piece, B. Thank you for your art and happy holidays to you and your family.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks Carlos for nice review. Happy Holidays to you and yours! Best,
B