A WALK IN THE RAIN

LOST LOVE

A WALK IN THE RAIN

 

I failed to impede you this time

we shared such wholeness

yet, you shunted me

we preserved all the elements

you and I lit the stars

crossed the waves

winked at the moon

set the sun on fire

ours was a keeper

or so I deemed

you packed your bags

and stepped out in the pouring rain

on a foggy morn

as I granted your exit

My eyes welled up with mixed salty tears

 

Now I am alone to wonder why

where have you gone?

I truly desire your being

your flesh, your green eyes, your caress

will you think of me sometimes?

I will scribble you a note if you do the same

where will I find comfort?

since you left me

just when I needed you most

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

https://pandora.app.link/DLfg8kVDglb
RANDY VAN WARMER "JUST WHEN I NEEDED YOU MOST

Reviews

[JE Falcon]

This was relatable and flowed well. Overall, I really liked it but it slapped me in my logic with the rain pouring and it was foggy. I know this can happen, especially on hilly terrain, but the line caught me off guard enough so I had to stop and re-read those two lines over, making sure I didn't read it wrong. Once I knew that I didn't, I re-read the whole thing and it flowed without stopping. --- Thanks for a pleasant read. And might I offer some sound advice from the past? Stay clear of those with green eyes. :)

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you for visiting and reviewing my poem.
I live in the mountains and we get p,entry of Cain and fog

togetghet

[Betty Hermelee]

Sorry for the spelling errors, appreciate your comments…..and thanks for stopping by!
Best
Betty

[JE Falcon]

No problem, my pleaser. :)

[Patricia]

this is beautiful and painful, and yes also relatable but only once thankfully. So much unsaid and even if you could find the words at the moment there will still be things left unsaid. It feels like the only person that can understand the pain is the one that you shared your life with and they are not sharing anymore, despite the reason or who's fault it is, if there is fault, sometimes things just don't work and nothing can be done except go through the pain, it never goes away, we just learn to live with it the best we can until one day we write poems about it and vent or try to find the beauty in it when it was there. really good writing here Betty.

[Betty Hermelee]

What a very well thought out review, yes sometimes life gives us much pain, but most of us can get through the initial shock, but the memories linger…
Whoever is a t fault ( if not at all) both parties suffer.
You think so deeply and I really appreciate your comments to me…it is very helpful.
Best to you and take care
B.

[Patricia]

my pleasure ;)

[Richard🖌]

Well, Betty Dear 🥀

Though, my eyes fade from cerulean to cobalt blue, your message certainly touched and intrigued my mind's-eye ever-sooo delightfully, as if you'd written it especially with me in mind, drawing my imagination into your moment … the hallmark skill of a true poetess.
Regardless that VanWarmer's poignantly gripping song was the impetus for this beautifully rendered Free Verse poem, it is the deeply embracing, imaginatively creative ambiance of your own emotively metaphoric impact and vivid imagery flowing straight from the core of your palpably expressed thoughts, feelings, and sensations sweeping into those of our own, that renders us shaky-kneed.
The title is magnetic, and your first verse is beautifully stunning and captivating, by virtue of sheer word painting imagery. Yet, it is the gripping emotional timbre of your second verse that swept through my warmest manly senses, awakening the most vibrantly compassionate, romantically daring fiber … sooo connectedly passionate.

Hah! Just look at my mammoth review … seems I became lost in your moment, but good poetry does this.
Thank you, Dear Betty, for a real treat from your luringly shiny pen.
Hugs! ⁓ Richard🍃

"Happy Christmas & A Glorious New Year to You 'n Yours!"

[Betty Hermelee]

My goodness dear Richard, you're too kind; but thank you so much for this glorious review, it's better than my poem!!! Sweet holidays to you der poet! Best to you,B.

[lessa (kenzie)]

So much emotion through out your write, kinda of relatable as well.
Love the song choice.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Alex and nice of you to stop by.
Best, Betty

[Ken Simm.]

This I can empathise with of old. Tell it as it is with that extra sadness on the side. Exceptional.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks Ken for a thoughtful review, much appreciated!

[John the Baptist]

Sometimes communication between partners breaks down to the point where signs of impending danger are not perceived until it's too late. On the other hand, one partner can have secretly planned a sudden exit for a long time prior to its inaction. Either way, the effect on the deserted partner will be traumatic.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks for your review John….this is a take on the song”just when I needed you most”…😊

[Dave Brown]

I hope this is not your actual experience
The walking out scenario seems much too easy these days
Maybe it is for the better
Recently happened with my son and they (each with new partners) seem to have regretted parting
Having kids involved makes it all even more difficult

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks, Dave, not my experience, but that of the song by Randy Vanwarmer..."Just when I needed you most"...sad, soulful.
Best, B

[barleygirl]

This is by far the most emotion I've seen you pack into a poem. This is the perfect balance between your natural straightforward tendencies & your newly-acquired poetic penchant for speaking somewhat thru imagery. Overall, intensely felt (((HUGS)))

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks Margie for that great review....I'm so glad you see improvement! Happy Turkey Day!
hugs, me

[Betty Hermelee]

Even though you don't celebrate!!!

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

there is such a truthful poignant emotion that runs through this heartfelt piece. One would have to not be human in order to not empathize with these sorrowful words. I was moved by them myself. Very nicely written B and straight from the heart with emotion.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks Carlos for a lovely review.
Best, B.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

that is a great song, and bravo on it for the last line of this poem...
Works into the poem so well.

a friend of mine had his wife leave him...no note, nothing...he still to this day does not know why.
so sad here,
j.

[Betty Hermelee]

I love that song...had to write about it, thanks always for a fine review J.
Best
B.