WHAT USED TO BE

young love, aging, lonliness

WHAT USED TO BE

 

Young hot flashes of tenderness

belong to us

share not our notions, dreams

warm cravings resonate throughout our sphere

delicate whispers, shrieks of fervor

no want of any intrusion

 

Years pass

life flows like a placid stream

family and friends perish

encircling me in solitude

echoes dance in the hallways

dust and memories

left in the lurch

absence of chatter

steals my breath

pray for the ghosts to flee

want for comfort

alone, all by myself

until death kidnaps me

 

Author's Note

https://youtu.be/iN9CjAfo5n0be
above is the link to the song by Eric Carmen" ALL BY MYSELF
This poem is based on that song (From You Tube)

Reviews

[albee]

"alone, all by myself... till death kidnaps me"
this ending crescendo took me to Emily Dickinson:

There is a slant of light
winter's afternoon...

When it comes, the Landscape listens –
Shadows – hold their breath –
When it goes, 'tis like the Distance
On the look of Death –

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks Albee for a lovely review!!
Best, B

[Patricia Wedel]

dearest Betty... delicate whispers... the ghostly friends
we used to know... now in memory... flow through our days
like melancholy honey combs. You are never really by yourself...
Your poetry is a gentle Breeze. truly, Pat

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks always Pat for a delightful review.
Take care and
Best, B

[Anuja Sharma]

"want for comfort alone, all by myself until death kidnaps me"- Why do i always feel so connected to your poems, as if you speak my heart out. Such a nice read Betty, all the lines truly portray the desired emotions to be conveyed here.
Regards,
Anu

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks Anu for a lovely review!

[albee]

fresh hot flash of tenderness in youth belonged…notions, dreams, warm cravings…
resonating throughout the bio-sphere that whispers delicacies and sheiks fevers….to love and to create…to live and to sing…to survive and reproduce….years pass life’s flow in placid streams: family, friends, frolics…till the encircling of solitude with her echoes, movement, dance in the hall ways and by ways of dusty memories…do I lurch…in empty chatter that has stolen my breath…with one last chest I heave a prayer to the holy ghost…

[Betty Hermelee]

Wow! That’s a very sound review! Thank you!
Best, B.

[albee]

i do get carried away in this dance of poetry on this floor

[John the Baptist]

Well, as it is said, if you live long enough, you'll lose everything. This poem somewhat parallels that adage. At some point in the years, shrieks of fervor become a placid stream, and the things we took for granted assume a different level of importance as they pass from our lives. Yes, there will be solitude, but that is different from loneliness, and in a positive way. And when that final exit comes, perhaps it won't be a kidnapping, but a welcome home party.
PS: Consider dropping the apostrophe from the first line of stanza 2.

[Betty Hermelee]

Dearest John, thanks for reading and correcting my grammar!

[Betty Hermelee]

Perhaps, but in this case it was a sad ending, and lonely too, just like the music!
Best, B.

[Vertigo Cat1111]

Eric Careman, great choice! It fits perfectly with this nostalgic, longing poem. You can feel the kind of loneliness and sadness. It’s very reflective and makes you think which is always a good poem. ‘Pray for the ghosts to flee’ I particularly liked that line a lot. A wonderfully put and rhymed poem!

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks and much appreciated!
Best, B.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

I absolutely love that Eric Carmen song. It truly is an anthem for the heartbroken. This is also a lovely poem Betty. I enjoyed how you weave from youth into elder age. You give pause to the reader to reflect on themselves and their life journey in the same way as well. Wonderful work.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you dear Carlos for that thoughtful review!
Best, B.