CASCADE

strong emotions

The moon wakens my evening nap

compelling beams of beguiling yellow light

render my eyes to flutter

bespeaks of intensity

captures my focus

spellbinding lust stalks me

cascades at midnight

begets a lecherous mood

scents of burning embers

Author's Note

The moon does crazy things

Reviews

[R.E. Ray]

Betty, I've had similar experiences lying in bed well after midnight, the moon staring at me through a slit in the blinds. I can't avoid it. It's there. Not even the stars distract me, and my mind soon travels space and time, and I land somewhere I shouldn't be, somewhere I wouldn't be if the sun was casting light on every surrounding thing, and the consequences of such journeys. Still, the tranquility that comes eventually brings sleep, too. The mornings ground us again, and remind us the moon and that life is out of reach. That's where this poem led me. Spectacular imagery and emotion in these nine verses.

[Betty Hermelee]

Your comments and analysis are amazing! I really appreciate the time and effort you put into these critiques! Bravo!

[R.E. Ray]

My pleasure.

[Lea Sheryn]

The moon has been said to effect people strangely.

[Betty Hermelee]

indeed it does; and that's why I write about it; thanks for visiting! Betty

[Lea Sheryn]

You're welcome. I enjoy reading your work.

[Laconic Meraki]

The moon does some crazy things, indeed. It too, goes through phases just like me.
Always returning to "full".

I'm one who loves gazing at the moon.
-selenophile.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Christa for your kind review
best,
Betty

[barleygirl]

I love this poem for the series of sensory observations without any attempt to tie a message together or explain anything in a narrative. This is the crux of letting imagery speak what it speaks to the reader. The title word, to me, is a dynamic verb . . . I'd love to see more dynamic verbs in place of these: render, bespeaks, begets . . . these verbs (my opinion) do not add to the stream of imagery. They're "empty" verbs expressing a generalized sense that something's happened. Some more dynamic possibilities:
"render my eyes to flutter" --> "flutter my eyes" or "pop an eye-flutter"
"bespeaks of intensity" (indirect) --> "shouting intensely" (direct) or "hammering intensity"
"begets a lecherous mood (indirect) --> "sparks a scamper" (dynamic) or "coaxes a lecherous mood"
Not to say my options are ones you'd want to use, but just trying to show how you sometimes write in a passive, round-about way instead of saying a thing outright & with passion/power, which is done by using more direct & dynamic verbs. (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Betty Hermelee]

I totally agree with you, will try harder to use more dynamic verbs! Thanks for reading, I appreciate your honest critique! Xo

[Patricia Wedel]

dearest Betty... a gorgeous sensual poem
when the moon sets early in the evening
when firefly's light the sky like twinkling stars...
where magic is a dream and love lingers...
tenderly, Pat

[Betty Hermelee]

Dear Pat,
Thanks for your twinkling review!

[Lorry]

It is strange how we all know the myths of howling at the moon, but catching a glimpse of it in the deep dark blue of night can make us howl in very differing ways.
Maybe it is the animal within that connects to the stories we all grew up on that releases varying degrees of lust and want within us, but I am left with the words of the song "the night time is the right time for love" playing in my head. 😀

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks Larry for your kind review!

[alanwgraham]

I'm not sure what to say Betty - you have given us not quite even the foreplay here. The moon has woven his /her spell and now it up to you to tell. Required or unrequited, that is the question and I'm not expecting an answer! As you say the moon is more of a lunatic influence but a kiss in the moonlight and anything can happen.
The moon was full
I held your hand
I'm wanting more
Was your demand!
I know you are just teasing us.
Alan

[Betty Hermelee]

Yes just teasing ,the whole idea of this!

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks as always!

[Einstein Noodle]

oo la la! the moon certainly does have its effects on us mortal animals :)))))))))) you have captured a scene ... with two characters in it ... one's self (i was so drawn in) and la luna ... belle luna! ;) one thought does lead to another as we cascade into the arms of passion ...and so perhaps a third character enters the scene .. such a little poem and a big yet sublime fire lit.
E.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you for that lovely comment; some how the moon draws my attention....much to write!

[Einstein Noodle]

she's a beauty :))))))))))

[David Klay]

The first line "evening nap" completely captured me. A nap, not sleep or slumber gives it the tone of wanting to be enchanted by the moon and desiring it to a point that you won't commit to a sleep and perhaps miss the moment. I loved how this write grabbed my imagination and would not let go.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks David! Somehow the moon draws me, and I have a fascination with it. Nice meeting you at the cafe!

[Chris Shaw]

Dear Betty, the moon certainly lures you in and it is both hypnotic and magnetic in the way this happens. They don't call it the loony moon for nothing. I am recalling here Moonstruck, the film with Cher and Nicolas Cage. How I loved that film. Plenty of lust, Iove and romance there.

Chris

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks Chris,I am moonstruck I guess
Fondly, Betty

[Chris Shaw]

There are far worse things to be :) Moonstruck has certain attraction.