BEYOND THE PLANETS

Brevity poem; hope

My stress soars beyond the planets

birds' whistles hush

senses daze

ghostly notions

shroud me in heartbreak

one star catches my eye

perceives my torment

sprinkles me with warmth

to ensure a serene plateau

Reviews

[Phill Oz O'fee]

In life, there's always a solution to a problem, and not taking control of the situation and doing nothing will only make your problems worse. One way to find hope is creatively and poetically express your inner feelings; like this poignant write - a great share... :-)

[Betty Hermelee]

yes, for me to relieve stress, writing is a great outlet.
Thanks for reading, appreciate it!! Fondly, Betty

[bigfootprint]

Poignant, Betty. crisp imagery, fine narrative. You take us from frustration to exhilaration -- and tell us how you got there. Take that, CBD oil.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you as always for your great reviews!

[barleygirl]

Many poets start a poem like this, already in the stars, but I like how you back up the starting point a little to let us see what has driven you to star-gazing. The other thing I really love is how your overall analogy speaks to the way there are a million people "out there" who seem like they don't care & they don't even see you . . . but we're always surprised when something/someone pops up to show us that there indeed ARE caring souls/energy "out there" along with all the numbingly impersonal anonymity. I've just recently become connected with a old acquaintance I barely noticed in the throngs, but she reached out & made me feel like someone, which in turn made me recognize her deeper beauty which I'd overlooked. That's a damn lot of pondering after reading such a short poem! Brava! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Betty Hermelee]

I’ve always been fascinated with the moon, in different phases, and love the idea of communicating with it;
A great review! Xo B

[alanwgraham]

I fear, Betty, there are many of us at present cast adrift in the Covid sea tossed hither and thither, out of site of land, desperate for any sign of terra firma. Perhaps the faintest glimmer will be enough to set our scudding hearts to rights. Perhaps that star will suffice. Great to read your thought provoking poem.
Hope you are well,
Alan

[Betty Hermelee]

Hi Alan..what a lovely review; I like writing these Brevity Poems, because you to think a lot and write it in a few words ...fondly, Betty

[light and ashes]

Very much reminds me of me and the stress I feel often.... I'm very glad to see the conclusion was a happy one. :)

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks Allie, nice to know I'm not alone!!!

[light and ashes]

You definitely are not!

[emmajoy]

Isn't it wonderful when a single star, a snatch of light, a gap in the darkness of life can turn sadness around on a sixpence! Lovely and hopeful words: one needs just a wee nudge to smile the spirit skywards! .

[Betty Hermelee]

What a nice review!! Thank you so much!!!

[emmajoy]

Waving.. you're welcome!

[Papaya]

I love how it takes a turn from despair to hope.
One star, one person, one smile...
Hope comes in the little things quite often, the little things that ignite
Such a wonderful piece of brevity

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you so much for your review

[Papaya]

You're welcome :)

[Patricia Wedel]

dearest Betty... your poem is what we all need to do...
during this time of duress. The gentleness of your words will
rock me to sleep as others may weep. I love the phrase--
"birds' whistles hush senses daze" and so forth.
Keep the Faith and carry on. truly, Pat

[LJ]

Hello - I like this the best of the poetry by you that I've read yet. It is a fine experience to go past planets and see a star sprinkle peace on a person, and that's what your writing allowed. I get picky sometimes, and I wish you'd said "night birds" or similar to establish the time of day. The birds' 'hushed voices' don't quite do it. I got confused, anyway, for a moment. I pictured daytime, and that's not where you were. The rest of the piece is good and appreciated. All of us need relief from current events now and then, and of course from personal hardships. To reach serenity via stardust is a wonderful image that I thank you for sharing.

[Betty Hermelee]

Hi ...thank you for your in-depth critique, fondly, Betty

[LJ]

You're welcome. (:

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i think all it takes is that one star...maybe that one friend to shine his or her light on us...a light of understanding of how we feel...it surely can help us back to the orbit circling serenity, in a calmer shuttle.
j.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks Jacob; I think you're right!! Thanks for reading!! Fondly, Betty