BLUES

the blues, sadness, helpless

Stagnant cow brown eyes

face of blues

embeds tear droplets

on my cheeks

I strive to boost

your spirits

all I sense

a hedge between us

Reviews

[John the Baptist]

This one is brief but says a lot. I would say the speaker is the spouse or partner of a depressed person. Like many people in this situation, the speaker wants desperately to help the other feel better, but the illness is the hedge between them mentioned in the poem. Those stagnant eyes can only look upon the inner blackness. In such cases, sometimes hospitalization is the only viable course. If the person is already hospitalized, let's home the medicine kicks in soon.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you for reading, yes a very depressive situation

[Einstein Noodle]

very emotive .. goes beyond the blues to tragic says i .. such empathy one for the other's suffering and serves only to thicken the wall .. straight forward write and language but packed with setting scene and characters .. my imagination and filling in spaces instantly sparked .. nice job!
E.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks for an in-depth critique!

[Lea Sheryn]

Ah yes, it is often hard to bridge the gap between two people when one is desperate to reach out to comfort and love.

[Betty Hermelee]

Yes it is! Thanks Lea

[Lea Sheryn]

You're welcome, Betty

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

love this
i passed some cows and horses yesterday on a sunday arvo drive
we are self limiting our exposure to other people so were safe in a park or in a car
i can just imagine the cows sad brown eyes in your poem now

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Julie

[R.E. Ray]

I've always seen cows as stoic and aloof animals. It's rare to see emotion. Though their big eyes constantly shift and scan, their feet may stay planted for a long time. That's the mood I get with this poem. I couldn't move past the "cow brown eyes" and "hedge." The poem speaks to a personal disconnection, separation, a cold aloofness that we can't breakthrough. It's accomplishment to bring such imagery and emotion in a few short lines, Betty.

[Betty Hermelee]

WOW!! What a positive,thoughtful comment!!! Many thanks, Betty

[R.E. Ray]

You’re welcome.

[barleygirl]

As a bipolar person, I've been depressed half my life, so I can wholeheartedly agree with the main point you're making here . . . when depression (or the blues) visit, it's common to push people away, which exacerbates the very sense of isolation this person may have started out with, convincing that he/she must be unlovable. That's the hedge & often it's futile to try to jump it until the person is ready to be hedge-free! Great job of throwing down a vivid image that says so much! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks as always for your spot on comments Margie!

[Chris Shaw]

Sad situation, especially when that hedge continues to grow. Depression has a knock on effect. I felt the blues here Betty in this short write.

Chris

[Betty Hermelee]

You were spot on as well Chris; sometimes you jus can't get through, "a hedge" Thanks again

[Poetic Beauty]

Sensing a hedge between two people is very sad and disheartening. I think many relationships go through this kind of turmoil some do not fair well though sadly

[Relic]

The separation is what drives a wedge between what one wants and what they have to deal with, knowing it may never disappear.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you so much for your review, right on target!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

the more the blues, the bigger they eyes, the larger the droplets...
it is tough when there are love blues...and that hedge grows.
j.

[Betty Hermelee]

Exactly..in this short piece there is little hope for recovery, thank you Jacob always for your insight
fondly, Betty