BLOWOUT

Haiku, nature weather

Winter moon's fierce wind

smacks us in the face and stings

kicks the outdoor chairs

Limbs scatter about

front door mat flies in the air

lands on the red car

Wind gusts shake the house

we listen to the harsh moan

the moon releases its clutch

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I would omit the word "the" at the beginning of the last line to get that syllable count right. I love how you use dynamic verbs: smacks, stings, kicks, flies, shake, moan, clutch. I often tell writers to pump up their verbs & this is a great example of doing that . . . since I use a complicated vocabulary, some writers think they need complicated verbs. I love how there's an everyday relatable quality to your straightforward word choices (not complicated & thus incomprehensible like mine can sometimes be). (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and thus the storm comes and goes...and a silent moon looks down on the devastation....

nice use of haiku to paint this picture in words...
j.

[bigfootprint]

Very energetic, Betty. You use the animate to capture the spirit of the wind. If there is a name for extended haiku, I can't recall. You know the rise and fall of the winter wind soul well. Good job.

[Lea Sheryn]

Very well described. You did a fine job, Betty.