The Foreign Rain.

I pity those the sun frowns upon without pity,

I tremor and shiver at just the thought of their misery,

And of all the ill-fated, it is the desert my tears tremble for;

My breath withdraws as to its long and dreary tale, I attend,

A tale based upon not fear, not agony,

But upon that one drip of rain had every chapter been based. 

It spoke of how the sun is never out of rage,

And of how the days are bearers of no change:

No color, which only love and hate could paint;

No sound, which only life could bait, 

Days bearing all of which best define hell on earth, 

But once in a while, from the sky that never soothes its flames,

The scent of mercy diffuses, as a drop or two of water falls.

It then spoke of the feathery touch of this foreign rain,

How its gentle tap made its withered sands sain,

For it seemed to bring the end of its despondent days

The end of being the bearer of the suns ever ending rage

So hope did surge and ignite in this hell forsaken place,

Hope for the sun to shed its light upon birth not death.

But a dweller was this rain never,

For it left even before the night took over.

The desert fears none, as it is horror itself,

The desert knows no pain, as pain had long outmoded itself,

But it knows in detail, the bitter taste of hope gained and hope lost,

As this was the lesson, that one drip of rain taught it best.  

Reviews

[zainul]

Last evening a welcome rain drenched my city of after a long spell of intolerable heat.
Though torrential one with thunders and lightning that killed eight persons nationwide,yet the rain was a blessing.It transformed our 'hell on earth' to a paradise.
Nice poem.
Thanks for sharing.

[Betty]

Thank you so much for the review Zainu... And i really am sorry for what predicament you city was affronted by.

[zainul]

You are most welcome.
Adore your sympathy.

[Judy]

This is an amazing piece! Your personification of the rain is original, and your word choice is sensational. The emotions that are brought about in this piece are extraordinary. Each word captures the reader.

[Antoñyo]

This is an eerily vivid piece that left my mouth parched and wanting more...
In the desert between Los Angeles and Las Vegas probably added 1% to 99% admittedly, but when I come through my front door, I don't want more of outside.
Talented write,
Thanks for sharing

[ANTO]

"The desert fears none, as it is horror itself.." - This is brilliant writing Betty. I see the rain as a metaphor for love that was just glimpsed, just tasted but was much too fleeting to be enjoyed or savoured to any degree yet it left its indelbile mark on the 'desert' of someone's heart.

Powerful poem and very well conceived. Bravo! - I especially liked the imagery of the desert blessing itself (sain).
X

[Lydia Shutter]

I can't remember a time when people did not complain about the weather. Either too hot or too cold, too wet or too dry. The personification of the desert and the sun in this is good. Good life lesson in your words. Lydi**

[Sami Khalil]

I like this a lot . You are talented indeed...:)

[Betty]

Thanks Sami :)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

There is depth in this one; emotional honesty and strength in your words despite the "horrors" that can befall us in our daily lives. Great "earth" imagery here. I particularly enjoyed the latter half of the piece.

Some suggestions...perhaps go through and look at your word choice a little more closely--the first line you use the word "pity' twice. I think the wordiness could be cut down slightly as well...

I pity those the sun frowns upon,
I tremor at the thought of their misery,
And the ill-fated is the desert my tears tremble for

Just a suggestion...to make the flow more powerful. Overall, though I truly enjoyed the piece, and I really liked the concept of this one. Look forward to reading more from you.

[Gene Denham]

Wow. I think Irma said it best - "It's silence rings long after the spoken word is finished."

[Irma Chavez]

I love this poem.
It's silence rings long after the spoken word is finished.
I live in desert of Vegas, and I see this happen around me daily, in the atmosphere, in the people, in my dreams.
Thanks for sharing with All.

[Betty]

Thank you so much Irma for your kind words :)

[Maria Ni Mhurchu]

I can really identify with your poem. Coming from Ireland, all we talk about is the rain and the bad weather :) but your poem puts things into perspective. It's a lovely one, really well written. I especially like the last verse.

[Betty]

Thank you Maria. You have no idea just how glad i am you enjoyed it.

[Maria Ni Mhurchu]

You're very welcome Betty