Belief vs Reality

I believed love was a beautiful fantasy,

Realized it’s just give and take policy

I believed trust was utterly precious,

Realized it could be truly dangerous

I believed Hard-work pays off well,

Realized without luck it hardly sells

I believed innocent faces were cute,

Realized it’d be a smart Satan’s plot

I believed happiness was achieved by things,

Realized it has to be found from within

I believed mistakes were truly dangerous,

Realized there are no better tutors than those

I believed the greatest asset to be the wealth,

Realized even bigger liability could be the health

I believed everything that glittered was gold,

Realized how easily I could be fooled!

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Devanshu Rajput]

"I believed love was a beautiful fantasy, Realized it’s just give and take policy"

This opening couplet was a beautiful one. It gives us an insight of your futher poem.

"I believed trust was utterly precious,Realized it could be truly dangerous"

This couplet really portrays the truth. But, in case a person has trusted a wrong person.

"I believed Hard-work pays off well, Realized without luck it hardly sells"

True, if there is no luck, then all our efforts are in futile. Bravo!

"I believed innocent faces were cute, Realized it'd be a smart Satan’s plot"

A somewhat similar to second couplet. But, this time regarding the shrouded imposters, who in order to deceive, veil their physiognomy.

"I believed happiness was achieved by things, Realized it has to be found from within"

From this couplet, I find the absence of your fashion of rhyme, that you had employed so far. So, this couplet somewhat breaks the fluidity. Immaterial of that, it also is good. Indeed! If a person, is not happy from inside, then no other caprices or luxuries of world can make him glee.

"I believed mistakes were truly dangerous, Realized there are no better tutors than those"

As, the adage goes," Mistakes, mean you are trying". You have written the ultimate reality of life.

"I believed the greatest asset to be the wealth, Realized even bigger liability could be the health"

As, " Health is wealth", what can be achieved in the absence of health?

At last, a grand concluding couplet:-

"I believed everything that glittered was gold, Realized how easily I could be fooled!"

"Al that glitters is not gold". We should not be mesmerised by only the tip of the iceberg, but we should also get to the bottom of anything.

A very philosophical, write I might say. Collection of 8 couplets, a wonderful job, Deepika.

Devanshu

[Deepika]

Thank you so much Devanshu for your beautiful insight! :)) I'm grateful to you for this elaborate and cognitive review. Not sure if I myself could have justified my work this well. This means a lot :)

[CA Anurag Sharma]

i was looking to write something similar before I read your work... but I am sure that I wont have written it like you.... its a terrific read.... so true.... bang on girl....every line here is a gem....

[Deepika]

Thank you so much Anurag for your motivating words as usual:)) Would be looking forward for your writing :)

[CA Anurag Sharma]

"as usual" loll.... I wont be writing it now... :)

[Samhitha Mopati]

Chai(tea) and biscuit kind of poem! :)
Utterly, butterly and delicious!
Many a time, life breaks the delicate glass of our prejudiced notions or beliefs! They say there is no better teacher than life and your poem is an evidence to this fact!

[Deepika]

lol..:D Thanks Samhitha for your sweet insight :)

[Yusuf Qaizar]

The plot is great. Some rhymes break the rhythm. Still well said.

[Deepika]

Thank you so much Yusuf :)

[stansg]

Belief vs Reality, so true, beautiful work, sounds beautiful, looks beautiful , btw what shape is it ? The most amazing part is that you are so prolific, what is the rate, 1 poetry/day or more than that? Ye jaan kar khushi hai ke India me itna saara talent bhara pada hai :)

[Deepika]

haha..in the beginning it looked like a round-bottomed flask and with modification lost it's shape :D Depends on my mood..at times I'll be flooded with ideas and mood to write,few instances I discard the ideas as I don't find them good enough,sometimes I hold back when occupied with work, and yea few other times I'am exhausted of ideas though I have mood. Thank you :D True,
there are many Indian writers here :)

[Rounak Jain]

Yeah. Its just a give and take thing.. Other points too were good. A good start with this ooem. Thanka for sharing. Keep sharing..

[Deepika]

Thanks a lot Rounak :)

[Saddam]

I believed the greatest asset to be the wealth,
Realized even bigger liability could be the health

Strong massage with good belief. Great as always.

[Deepika]

Thank you so much Saddam :)

[Saddam]

You're welcome dear.

[Ehra Khan]

A poem that sends out a strong message! Your vocabulary adds to its goodness and style! keep it up! :)

[Deepika]

Thank you for your kind review! :)

[AaronFreitas]

"I believed trust was utterly precious,
Realized it could be truly dangerous"

This line stood out the most to me because you said it perfect. Trust is precious but it can also be dangerous as trust sometimes leads to pain. Good work

[Deepika]

True! Glad you could relate. Thanks Aaron :)

[Ana D S M]

A very inspirational piece. It's often hard to see the truth but if you close you'll know what's real. :)

[Deepika]

Thanks a lot dear friend :)

[Jamestown]

You said it clear as day and hit the nail on the head! So much truth in
this piece, I am always amazed at the fluency of your work and how
well you deliver the message, prolific my friend!
Thanks for sharing and b-blessed!

[Deepika]

Thank you loads James:) Your words are highly encouraging! :)

[Jamestown]

You are very welcome, your poetry speaks for itself:)