Mortality

When the loved ones bid good bye with no concern,

When the mirror broke causing an ugly delusion,

When the sweet moments went out of routine,

When the flying kite snapped in between,

When my fave ice-cream got exhausted

When the cozy night culminated,

 

My mind urged for eternity

But then I was dragged into reality,

And looked out for the beauty of mortality..

 

There's unending sky spreading above

Yet eye looks out for the splitting horizon,

A rendezvous for the earth and heaven's love

 

Standing tall are the defying mountains,

Image fill the eyes yet the target lies at it's tip,

Though the journey's end is totally certain

 

Miles to trace in the race of running,

Only when the competition ends-

The winner comes into being

 

Death gives pain,

Good byes make us insane,

Yet mortality is not totally disdain!

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Chris]

The sculpted look of the actual poem is very elegant.
The second and fourth stanza i enjoyed the most.
The second stanza sort of represents the emergence of duality, and the underpinning urge for unity.
With the fourth stanza, it reminds us that the unity is ever present, our senses are in some way responsible for the duality.. Eventually, the journey will undoubtedly end.
Great work, Deepika.

[Deepika]

Thanks Chris for your beautiful insight :) Glad you liked the layout and the words :)

[Double T]

This is a great poem.

I love it how u estblashed the theme of morality.

[Deepika]

Thanks dear friend :)

[Kristan A. Mohammed]

This is awesome. Mortality can truly be both a friend and an enemy. Its hard and quite lonely to your your loved ones pass on by to the other side. And all that's left is for this life to spin itself out so that we can be reunited with out lost one. Great job.
Stay inspired.

[Deepika]

Thanks Kristan for your valuable words :)

[Rounak Jain]

That was superb. intensity and force with which message was delivered, left an impact. kept me thinking. that mountain tip example. awesome. writing serious/deep ones recently? :)

[Deepika]

Thanks Rounak :) Yea, not getting good themes for comical writing ;) Will try sometime :)

[Rounak Jain]

No, even this is fine. Raising the intensity of thoughts. Nice. Thanks for sharing.

[Jamestown]

You my friend are so talented! This piece has everything to make a poem
perfect, imagery, word play, and solid message! Fantastic, thanks for sharing and b-blessed!

[Deepika]

Thank you so much James! Your words are always cherished :)