Mortality

When the loved ones bid good bye with no concern,

When the mirror broke causing an ugly delusion,

When the sweet moments went out of routine,

When the flying kite snapped in between,

When my fave ice-cream got exhausted

When the cozy night culminated,

 

My mind urged for eternity

But then I was dragged into reality,

And looked out for the beauty of mortality..

 

There's unending sky spreading above

Yet eye looks out for the splitting horizon,

A rendezvous for the earth and heaven's love

 

Standing tall are the defying mountains,

Image fill the eyes yet the target lies at it's tip,

Though the journey's end is totally certain

 

Miles to trace in the race of running,

Only when the competition ends-

The winner comes into being

 

Death gives pain,

Good byes make us insane,

Yet mortality is not totally disdain!

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[B]

I agree with you
Some moments cause one to wish for the disconnect
Self refection into a journey far away

Your writing does take one on a journey :)

[Ana D S M]

It's all a part of life, we should not fear death. :)
( I have to admit though, I do. )
Good thought provoking write.

[Deepika]

You are right! they are just inevitable. Thanks for the review :)

[FNG]

So many fear death, and I think that they just need a new way to look at it. To accept something we must first realize that it is real. And death comes to us all. Great piece.

[Deepika]

Very true! Thanks for the kind review :)

[Abilash Uttama]

death is inevitable maybe that's why we believe in afterlife to look at it in another way. Nice poem!

[Deepika]

True..Thanks for the review abilash :))

[Yusuf Qaizar]

Great piece! Mortality does scare me but it is inevitable.

[Deepika]

Thank you so much Yusuf :)

[Sher A. Lynn]

I really enjoyed each and every stanza except the last. I felt as if the word could have flowed more smoothly. Great piece just the same.

[Deepika]

Thank you for Sher Lynn dropping by :)Perhaps you are right. Would be glad to receive any feedback that could help.

[...]

Poetess, this is a wonderfully inspiring and visually majestic piece of art. Good job :)

[Deepika]

Thank you lynn for dropping by and for your kind review :)

[Jeyanthi]

Your lines are in staircase format. :P

Am totally convinced. Your poem makes to remember the fault in our stars story.

When heaven calls, its actually okay to die.:P

[Deepika]

hehe..i liked your conclusion :D and yea glad that you discovered a staircase pattern there :P thanks for the review :)

[Prashant Rajput]

the lines '...and looked out for the beauty of mortality' are very beautiful,again an outstanding work by you...:)

[Deepika]

Thank you so much Prashant :)

[Tks]

I found the form of your poem very interesting indeed, Deepika. It is shaped in a shape whose name I cannot seem to articulate. It was refreshing to see how you are able to see the bright parts of life, and your quirky words have an undertone of maturity to them, of the inevitability of life and death. Nice one!

[Deepika]

Thank you so much for the beautiful review :)