A Fish on a Sea Shore

On one clear Evening we went to the Beach Side,

To get some fresh air and have some mood cheer

After some games with the bouncing tide,

Our eyes caught hold of a fish lying on the shore

 

Beautiful was it of Golden yellow,

And the sun rays brought a glow on the sand below

Quick was I to run and pick,

Demanding my friends to take few pics

Suddenly one day I was taken aback,

When I was rewinding those forgone clicks

Restless my mind grew when it was unable to decode,

Why the fish was lying just a meter away from its sole abode!

Was it in a zest to venture the world outside?

Or was it heartlessly thrown out by the furious tide?

Did the fisherman discard it coz it was not edible?

Pity it must have lost the battle being too feeble!

Or did it try hard and jump off someone’s hand?

Peacefully lying in its new world at the end!

 

 

Reviews

[Jerald Infant Jeyarethi..]

5 mins back I read a poetry of yours on a mosquito... and now i'm reading one on a fish.. dead fish to be precise... all of your poetry are very orthodox to very unorthodox scenarios..which is really something:)

[Deepika]

Haha..thank you Jerald for your valuable time and reviews:)

[ANTO]

Wow Deepika - I love your imagination. To wonder so many things about an expired fish then to put them to paper in a cute way as this - Im officially jealous !
Really fast becoming a fan of yours - Bravo! :))

[Deepika]

Haha..well, that's a great compliment :) thank you so much Anto!

[Raja Anjana Kothapalli]

Your 'A fish on a sea shore' is an excellent piece of work. Kudoz to you, Deepika!☺

[Deepika]

Thank you so much Anjana :)

[Saddam]

Ah dear!!! It was so sad, poor fish, Why the fish was lying just a meter away from its sole abode!
You have such a emotional heart.
Nice dear as always.

[Deepika]

Yep its sad! Thank you so much for your kind words :)

[Saddam]

You are welcome dear........ your heart is so emotional....

[Kristan A. Mohammed]

Wow such a great piece of work. The rhyming scheme is simply divine. I totally love how the poet tries to decode how the fish came to be on the shore. I also love the conclusions that came to mind. This piece also radiates a sense of sorrow to me. That the fish was cast away from everything it knew. Washed away in exile. Or curiosity. Great job. Keep up the good work and I hope you stay inspired.

[Deepika]

Glad that you liked it :) thanks for your kind words!

[Sami Khalil]

"zest to venture the world outside?
Or was it heartlessly thrown out by the furious tide?
Did the fisherman discard it coz it was not edible?
Pity it must have lost the battle being too feeble!
Or did it try hard and jump off someone’s hand?
Peacefully lying in its new world at the end!"

An interesting poem and message. Bravo...................

[Deepika]

Thanks a lot :)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)................

[Astrid]

Quite an alluring peice :)

A few notes/suggestions:
This line puzzles me "Quick was I to run and pick," it could be that I just don't see what you were trying to do, but perhaps change "pick" to "get"?
"coz" is actually spelled " 'cause" since it as a shortened version of "because".
"Peacefully lying in its new world at the end" may I suggest changing the end to "its new world in the sand"?

[Deepika]

Thanks for your valuable suggestions :) will make those amendments..

[CA Anurag Sharma]

very well written... especially the last para.... good one

[Deepika]

Thanks for the review :)

[Prashant Rajput]

wonderful work!...the way in which you described the condition of the 'pity fish' and made the connection to the outer world is a symbol of brilliancy.

[Deepika]

Thank u so much for reading and reviewing :)

[Prashant Pandey]

wow, suprb, wonderful. these words aren't enough for extolling this one. Excellent.

[Deepika]

Thanks a lot! :)