Georgie Porgie

Oh, sweetie pie!

Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie,

Kissed the girls and made them cry.

When the boys came out to play,

Georgie Porgie ran away.

 

Georgie Porgie was a handsome count. All the girls loved him and all the boys envied him. But he was notorious for being a Casanova. In every ball he attended, he would lay with twenty girls. As for these girls, they thought he was going to promise them marriage, but they ended up realizing it was just a one-night stand. He’s really a philanderer, a man with many casual affairs. Yet, though everyone knew this, all the girls still swoon whenever he smiled at them. The more he broke their heart, the more they wanted him.

 

Then, there was a ball hosted by the neighboring kingdom, and of course, Georgie would be there. He wasn’t known in that kingdom but still he was the center of attention as all the ladies, young and old, flirted around him. But Georgie had only two targets that night, the Princesses Pamela and Lolita of that kingdom. He first flirted with the cold-hearted Princess Pamela who thinks everyone isn’t good enough for her. But upon the sight of Georgie, her heart melted into lust, and allowed him to touch her four bases. The ball didn’t end yet when Georgie left her chamber as she slept. There was still time for the promiscuous Princess Lolita who was actually looking for him. Georgie need not for sweet talk because she already pulled him out of the grand room and into her chamber.

 

Little didn’t they know that Princess Pamela suddenly woke up to feel she was alone, and being in love for the first time, she thought Georgie was now her property. Thus, she looked for him. She soon found him with her younger sister. Instead of getting mad at Lolita, she was outraged at Georgie. Princess Lolita was also angry at him and kicked him out of the room naked. The next day, Princess Pamela was fuming mad for her virginity was taken by a b*****d, and Princess Lolita agreed for Georgie had transmitted a disease to her.

 

To get revenge, the two princesses called out their most dangerous knights and put a bounty upon Georgie. He was soon caught, and Princess Pamela and Lolita ordered the chefs to bake him into pudding and pie which the two princesses happily ate. That’s how the first line of the rhyme came to be.

 

Author's Note

The names of the two princesses came from the novels Lolita and Pamela which also deals with sexual affairs. Their attitude were also based on the characters of the same name. The idea of Georgie baked in a pie came from Bluebeard and the princesses eating him came from Snow White.