The Void Of The Past

My Love, my Dear,

Once again you make me take my pen,

Translate my tears

And tell you my unbearable pain

 

But you, my Dear,

Once again you will remain silent

And I’ll wait here

Desperately wishing for that moment

 

That moment, my Love,

When you open yourself to me,

Shall get me rid of

All this endless insanity

 

At last I’d be free

Of this eternal questioning

What would my life be

If I had given you a ring?

 

You think you do me good

By denying me our past

You think that way I could

Forget this love so nefast

 

Alas I’ll never know

This first love that lit my heart

Did you feel it also?

Or was it just on my part?

 

You pretend you don’t know,

Keep hiding your hatred

Behind your beloved

Yet take everything slow

 

But my Love, b’yond your eyes

Lies that same tragedy

Death of love so happy

Yet you don’t realise

 

If history makes us

Then I am empty

For mine’s oblivious

Of a’real memory

 

You know all that is,

And was, my Lovely

So you obviously

Don’t bear such a tease

 

All is answered

For you my Lady

What about me?

Now that I’ve served

 

When I told you

I set you free

And now you see,

You see me through

 

So my Dear

When ready

Just tell me

I’ll be here

 

Was your heart

Towards me

So empty

My Sweetheart?

 

I’ll wait

And see

For thee

To state

 

A void

A love

A crush

A thirst

 

Us

Then

Now

When?

Author's Note

You can see what I tried to achieve at the end, but I'm not sure it has the desired effect. Should I have stopped at, say, 'Sweetheart'? What do you think?
Oh, and also, I'm not sure I use commas correctly.

Reviews

[Ashley Brodber]

LOL @ commas. And no, as it is I taste the pain and anxiety of this bleeding heart. The short sentences are just genius!

[Irfan Bashir Shah]

Don't know if it has the desired effect but it sure has a good one.

[Tainted Devotion]

This poem was really thoughtful and loving. Made me think a lot about my past relationship.....It really took me off guard and just captured my attention completely. Wonderful till the very end.

[Mary C]

I really like the format you have chosen with this piece and the imagery you have produced from your words

[Me]

Fascinating, thought-provoking, lovely.

[Arielle Ann]

the end with the gradual diminish of words accompanied with fading of hope, the void was illustrated beautifully. and you needn't have ended at sweetheart,,,this is more unique and adds further depth to your words!

[Leon R]

Nope, you shouldn't have stopped at Sweetheart. I mean you could of course but somehow the last parts add something more to the whole poem. I like your construction a lot, don't know if it was intentional or just happened like that but it's really good and certainly the last parts make in more complete.
Very nice write indeed!