Love and War

Its more of a story poem. Butttt its something that happened to me awhile back. It reminded me of a battle. So I put it to one.

We were walking under moonlight
You mean the world to me
I say with a smile, and I ponder a second to see what she may think

She frowns, You really shouldn't she says, apathetic
I am pathetic
I am a soldier, tripping over wire, dodging shells of her attack
I love her.
I stammer, stuttering, my words tripping over wire
I, uh.. Well its like, you..you are the only person who can make me nervous when I see you, talk to you...but uh, make me calm when I do talk, I love you ya know?
Oh? she frowns
I smile, confident, a shield, ignoring her, the mortars, the knowledge, common sense
retreat. retreat.

We continue our conversation
she wants to go inside, I make her walk another lap, its such a lovely night
her perfume is almost toxic, Side by side we walk, I should of just went home, but I'm not one to give up.

The air is much too dry, and the sky is much too bright
and her eyes shine like emeralds
and my pride jumps over the moon

I make my stand, the soldier
the man, trying to defeat, I sneak for the attack
but she counters with

What about him?
of course I am jealous, I exclaim
All I want is to understand you
All I want is to understand me to she says
I smile, an asinine smile
a fake smile
a defeated smile

So we walk back to her house
goodbyes, and truths
You cant love me
I wont let you.
I wont tell you how I feel
You don't love me
Your lying
You can't.
I see how it hurts you

I'm fine I say
absorbing defeat
my shields are down
I'm crashing, I'm crashing.
I walk home alone.

I'm exiled
a soldier no more
I can't love now
I couldn't feel then
no one can understand
no one can comprehend
how I felt

so
I walk alone
and I hear this song in my head
I cursed this song
I cursed her
I cried
I died
I revived
and I lied
when I said I was fine
all I wanted was for you to understand
but I never lied
when I said I was in love with you.