Meet My Friend: Death. I

Part I :D A little bloody

   A small group of young men passed on horses by in the woods of Zamor, which was in the providence of Mastilan. The man in the front looked behind him at his three friends, who were Xanily*, a wood elf, Martin, a rather short and stubby man who claimed to be a dwarf, though he had no beard. And another young man named Suron. The man leading was Patrik, and he, for some obvious reasons, was their leader. They were a traveling group, looking for people to help. They were strange, but very helpful in tight spots.

   As they went through the old forest, the tall, spindly trees towered over them like guardians... But, they were being watched. Unknown to any of them, a large scouting party of Common Orlks* followed closley behind. They were very quite for their size because most of them were just under 6 feet, and they had large feet. Martin, who was leading an old donkey laden with supplies, looked behind him. Shaking his head, he looked ahead. He called out to Patrik,

   "I say, don't you think we had better stop? It's getting 'round dinner time, and I have an bad feeling about this place." Patrik smiled and answered him,

   "You my friend, need to stop worrying. We'll stop once we get out of this forsaken place. Souris* curse this place!" Patrik swore as a branch caught him unawares. That is when it happened. The Orlks came running behind them and pounced on the donkey. A large Orlk riped its head off and threw it into the air. Blood rained down on the travelers. They pulled around their horses and drew their weapons. Two score of Orlks charged at them, their ugly, bloodstained weapons flailing about in the air.

   A small Orlk in a tattered sack swung his enormous axe at Martin's horses legs, sliced them off with ease. Martin fell to the ground, and swung his gleaming scimitar at the Orlks head. Leaving it there on the ground, blood now pouring from its head, Martin reached behind him and took out a small metal shield and waited for another Orlk.

   As soon as the Orlks had attacked, Xanily jumped off his horse and drew out a long handled blade,  and charged at three fully grown Orlks. He swung upward, and sliced two of the Orlks head and arms off. Then he swung the blade back down and cut the thirds head right down the middle. Xanily quickly wiped the blade on the dead leaves, and stood up.

   Suron was the only one ready for the attack. He being a ranger, jumped up onto a low-lying branch and drew his bow back to his ear, with five arrows on the string. Spotting out the largest Orlk, he let go and watched the arrows soar at his target. He smiled as he heard a loud and terrible scream, and saw the beast falling with four of the arrows in its chest, only the feathers sticking out.

   Patrik charged his horse at a dozen Orlk and drew his longsword. A few yards away, he drew a small wooden dagger, soaked for days in snake venom, and threw it at the Orlk at the front. It fell, and was trampled by the horse. Several more were felled by Patrik's mighty blade. He drew his bloody sword up and ran towards a group of three Orlks. He swung left and right, making dark stains on the old ground.

   The dozen or so Orlks left ran for their lives back into the dark woods. The sun was shining dimly through the thick foliage, casting small shadows on everything. The four got back on their horses, all except Martin, for his horse was injured. He walked, crying, over to the poor beast, who was laying in a pool of it's own blood. Taking out a small knife, Martin closed his eyes and plunged it into the horse's head, and it moved no more.

   "Come now Martin, we must move on. These are dangerous parts. Come on, we can have time to mourn later. It's just a horse after all," consoled Suron. Martin sniffed and stood up. He took off his saddle off the now dead horse and slung it over his shoulders. The donkeys things were already on the other three's horses, so they set off again.

 

   Soon they reached the edge of the forest. They had been in there for five days, and the sun shone very brightly indeed, too bright for Xanily's liking, for he was used to the darkness of woods. They went a little ways more and stopped at a large, jagged, rock.

   "According to the map, this is Marzin's rock. And if I'm not mistaken, we will be able to see the town of Daren from on top of the rock," Patrik said as they set up their temporary camp. Sinse they had no injuries, they recollected the short battle. After a few hours, they were seated around a blazing fire, and the sun setting behind them.    

    

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*Xanily: Pronounced Gn-z-an-ily

*Common Orlk: Related to Orks, but much larger and stronger.

*Souris: The god of war and people of the world.

Author's Note

All advice or criticism is welcome.:D Rough draft, soooooo...

Reviews

[Manyfacets]

As Mandi pointed out there is a few errors but aside from that I do admire your attempt to write a story. It takes having imagination, determination and confidence to do that for sure. You are not lacking in these. I enjoyed your little tale, keep up the good work. Smiles to you & happy writing. M.

[Mandi]

um is this not a book??? maybe not......

[Mandi]

grammar problems first:

"The man in the front looked behind him at his three friends, who were Xanily*, a wood elf, Martin, a rather short and stubby man who claimed to be a dwarf, though he had not beard, and another young man named Suron." this was just too confusing. you should break it up.

"The man leading was Patrik, and he, for some obvious reasons was their leader." it should be i think: "The man leading was Patrik, and he, for some obvious reasons, (comma) was their leader."

"Several more were felled by Patrik's mighty blade." um, don't think it should be "were felled" lol

"Th sun was shining dimly through the thick foliage," should be The not Th...:D

"He took all his saddle off the now dead horse and slung it over his shoulders. " don't understand "He took all his saddle"

"The went a little ways..." should be They not The..

i didn't see anymore but that was quite a few grammar problems lol!

This was really good! It kept me interested the whole way and i think you've got something started here Ben! Keep it up! :)