mindless obsession

How can we use words with meaning 

the words are there but they are concealed with fear 

each letter brings out a uncontrollable emotion 

the fire the heat the figure of speech is becoming heavy 

the mother tongue cant speak the sentences i want to say 

how can my obsession become so annoying that i find it hard to breath 

is evolution becoming distorted in my swollen eyes 

or is it just the way i choose to see 

only one question i need to get off my chest 

but my chest is full of broken hearts which crumble at the sight of the one fictional beauty which my mind creates 

is love real 

is life hiding the truth 

is the stone not set in the mud yet 

all i would like to do is say what i think

but the colour the smell the sight is too powerful for my reality 

the flowers of life cant grow without the pure natural water which surrounds the earth

feeling is only a way of thinking 

thinking is only a way of feeling 

the present is all we can see which hurts the presence of my mortal shell 

the air blows ever so subtle through this figures hair which my cerebellum created  in a 10th of a second 

the 10th of a second cant describe the the perception of my time 

a 10th of the time of what i visualise feels like 10 minutes of my time wasted 

wasting my life by obsession with a spirit which feels like its sinking through the grasp of existence 

its only a matter of time until my brain disintegrates into ash 

its only a matter of time until my freedom feels like its been colonised by a greater power 

is love real

is life hiding the truth

is the stone set in the mud yet 

the way my addiction takes hold of me like a magnet stuck to the fridge is almost cruel to say the least 

without thinking the first word which comes into my fragile mind would be........

trust