did i die?

 It's still a loss despite the win, let's roll the dice to spite the sin, drying eyes entice the grin, my heart is old and growing thin... past life sins have paid the fee, swapping souls might set us free, let's live our lives, to some degree, as if I were you and you were me... there's nothing shy that stems from hate, a year from now we'll clean the slate, impromptu patience will have to wait, but can't stop time or love or fate... I'd rather live in warm and dry than this old sphere of cold and cry, where money talks and devils lie, this can't be life or did I die? our soul is all we don't disown, this life is ours but just a loan, the path is long and filled with stone, its not less travelled if it's all you've known...

Reviews

[Doug Scibeck]

I like the rhythm of this. It works in this not traditional poem form. The contrasting optimism and realism works well.

[WriterGirl101]

Wow. I really like this. Nice wording

[Bo Lanier]

nicely written! i like the theme to your poem. good job!