Titanium String

Just what one name wanted. I'll die on this noose of neglect. Sure I'll drown in the Lake of Loneliness...it doesn't matter to me. For the Lake is my best friend.

I lost my confidence

when I was very young.

I learned about "b***h"

when I was in 1st grade.

I understood the meaning of

Lake of Loneliness

for I drowned in it daily.

I lost my faith once

when I was in 1st grade.

My emotions were

whipped and beaten

by the "holy" society.

I cried out for help,

but no one

listened to my screams.

My heat bled black

soon after that.

Would you belive

it all started with

one little name?

This one name

caused me so much pain

that my pain

turned into understanding.

I understood life.

I understood death.

I understand suffering.

Many told me,

"If you hate it then leave."

like it was that simple.

Wouldn't she win?

That was her goal;

to get me away.

Then I would be

running from problems.

Curse that one name.

Her power grew,

and I stopped trying.

I just took it.

I took the mental beatings,

and I took the mental breakdowns.

Of course I sealed myself away.

Caging myself in a bottle

worked for a time until

the bottle broke.

She fixed her eyes on me.

Her little slave

and her chew toy.

She was the puppeteer

for all the school.

She laughed when

she made teachers

make me cry.

I was outcasted

from all the school.

I became alone again.

Drowning in the

Lake of Loneliness.

Oh the

Haven of helpness.

He asked me why

I always sat alone

and not with the girls.

I told him

that I was outcasted.

He laughed and

that one name acted angelic.

She wasn't clueless.

Oh she knew,

and was very glad.

Her pain was easing

and I was taking it all.

" I like you. I do, but

with peer pressure and all

I can't befriend you."

Enter the nervous breakdown.

Enter the usual pain.

"You stalker b***h."

Enter the nervous breakdown.

Enter the usual pain.

"Go to hell!"

"I can't cause

you'd followe me there too."

"I'll bring the marshmellows."

Enter lame comebacks.

Enter the nervous breakdown.

Enter the usual pain.

It's been 10+ (years) now.

Still it won't go away.

That annoying little pest.

I lost my courage.

I lost my spirit.

I lost everything

because of that

one little name

who still gives me,

the usual pain.

My passion is all

that's left of me now.

A souless entity

forced to remain

in hell because

she is restrained

from moving on.

"Maybe this will

cure the illness."

I thought as

I picked up

darkness's infant.

"I feel so alive.

The pain is gone."

No it won't.

I set the child down.

For I am

just crying again.

Better yet,

I am running away.

Just what

one name wanted.

Her special puppet

on titanium string.

 

 

Author's Note

Ignore spelling problems. This is a true poem/story. I'm an emotional cry baby since I was born. It's gotten worse not better.

Reviews

[Unknown Soldier]

whoa! i love it! its like you explaining how girls have wars against each other for nothing!