The Assembly

It’s been growled throughout the hallways at least twice a day for two weeks: “Quincy Daisy, I challenge you!”

          Kari joined Diya in the gathered crowd in the middle of the hallway to see Mr. Gene and Mr. Daisy battling in a fast-paced board game. The onlookers varied in grades and age. It started off as a few people watching the two skirmish but had steadily grown into a school-wide event. Ms. Breeze even joined, occasionally chiming in when rules came into question.

          Ever since Quincy passed Edmund’s test, the math demon had been attempting to one-up the giant. At first, it started with mathematical equations similar to his first test. Then it became more childish. Board games, video games, card games. They even played a recent monster card game that was popular with third and fourth graders at the time. Neither of them understood the rules so that challenge had to be scrapped. The win-loss ratio was about fifty-fifty. Yesterday, Edmund brought in a thousand-piece puzzle for him and Quincy to “compete” with. Whether it was because he was out of ideas or tired, he overlooked that upon the puzzle’s completion there would be no victor, just a nice picture of a happy dog made with teamwork.

          Kari was amused for the first week with their odd battles in the hallways, but she had grown bored of seeing two grown adults sitting cross-legged playing colorful board games. With a scoff and a roll of her eyes, she grabbed Diya and strode for their classroom.

          Ms. White was speaking casually to a blonde woman in Kari’s classroom. Ana-Lee was holding fast to the woman’s pantleg with a stack of small papers underneath her armpit. After Kari and Diya put away their stuff, they approached them to discover that it wasn’t a woman at all, but a man. A blonde, beautiful, thin-wristed man with oceanic eyes. A man who looked like he had never lifted anything heavier than a pencil his entire life. Kari imagined him a model on one of the autumn-themed clothing magazines. Ana-Lee detached herself from him and bounced their way, removing the papers from her pit, and holding them outward.

          “W-Would,” she stammered after a swift bow of her head, “would you two like to come to my birthday party? I understand if you can’t make it.”

          Kari and Diya both took one of the invitations. The misspelled words were drawn on with crayons as well as a different animal per invitation. Kari’s had a purple cockatoo while Diya’s a pink gecko.

          “It’s going to be in two weeks from now. We’ll have cake and ice cream and a show in the backyard,” Ana-Lee said excitedly.

          “I’ll have to ask my father but I’m sure I can come,” said Diya.

          “Yeah, I’ll ask my brother,” Kari added. “Is that your father?”

          Al nodded repeatedly. “Yup, that’s our daddy.”

          “Our?” asked Kari puzzled.

          “Our daddy. Me and Desmond.”

          “Desmond is your brother?” Kari gasped as she glanced across the room at Desmond who was leaning against a wall with a finger lodged in his nostril.

          “Mhm, we’re twins.”

          “You didn’t know that, Kari?” Diya asked with a hollow expression.

          “No. I don’t see anything twin-ish about you two.”

          Troy entered the classroom and Ana-Lee watched him walk over to a beckoning Desmond. Her normally worried look was accompanied by a bead of sweat as Desmond handed Troy an invitation. She smiled and sighed in relief when Troy scanned the paper and gave a single nod to Desmond.

          The blonde man strode over to their group and placed a hand on Ana-Lee’s long, golden hair. “Hello, girls. You must be Kari and Diya. I am Mr. Strofer. I’d like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being friends with my daughter and son.” He threw back his long blonde threads and they sparkled in the light.

          “No problem, Mr. Strofer,” Kari and Diya said simultaneously and listlessly.

          “My darling wife just wanted Desmond and Ana-Lee to hand out invitations, but I felt like that wouldn’t suffice. Coming to a stranger’s house can be quite intimidating, so I decided to come to your classroom and introduce myself as a proper gentleman would. If your parents or legal guardians have any questions I wrote our number on the invitations.”

          “That was very thoughtful of you,” Leena smiled while fidgeting with one of the student’s broken toys.

          “Well, that should be everyone. Troy and Emily have been over to our house a couple of times, so I shan’t need to talk to them. Daddy has to go, pumpkin. Have a wonderful day.”

          “Bye, daddy,” Al chimed while hugging his leg.

          “Desmond,” Mr. Strofer cried across the room, “have a wonderful day, my son.”

          Desmond glanced over at his father, quickly raised his hand, and simply said, “Yo,” before returning to a hunk of clay he and Troy were smashing into a flat pancake.

 

 

          Ms. White led her chatty group of students into the gymnasium for an assembly. They were the last grade into the gym as the bleachers were already overflowing with students and teachers. The bleachers were organized by grade, with the fourth grade being the farthest from the stage and the kindergarten class being the closest.

          Kari planted her butt between Diya and Troy. Seeing everyone in one place was a great reminder of how many people were in this school. Troy nudged her and pointed out how Mr. Daisy stuck out like a sore thumb amongst the ocean of children. He was on the opposite side sitting with the first graders where a girl was yanking at the flower on his head. Kari and Troy broke out in laughter and only stopped when they saw Ms. White with her index finger pressed firmly against her lips.

          Behind the podium on the stage was the principal Mrs. Agatha Reed looking as proper as ever in her puffy maroon dress. Taking up some plastic chairs behind her was Mr. Kraw, who was dead asleep and drooling, Ms. Breeze, Ms. Watson, and a bearded man that Kari was unfamiliar with. All she knew about him was he did a lot of technical stuff with computers and electrical equipment.

          Mrs. Reed cleared her throat into a microphone. “Quiet down, everyone.” The room went impressively silent at her command. “For any of you newcomers, every year we have a tournament among the teachers and faculty that we like to call ‘The Blue Diamond Cup.’ I am proud to say that I’ve had the honor to be the judge of this competition for over fifteen years. I am very old you see, my father was a caveman.” There were patches of awkward laughter bouncing around the gym. Mrs. Reed pulled out a sizable, glittering, gold cup and planted it on the podium. It had the letters B-D-E masterfully carved into it and its brim and bottom were decorated with cobalt trimmings. “The winners will receive this cup as well as their names permanently added to the board of winners displayed in the school’s entryway. I will leave the vice-principal, Mr. Kraw, to explain more.”

          Agatha hobbled over to the sleeping Mr. Kraw and nudged him awake with the ball-ended, silver cane she’s been occasionally seen with when patrolling the school. Mr. Kraw snapped awake, took the microphone, and stood behind the podium. His posture, greasy black hair, and army green overcoat made him look like a washed-up rockstar, but a rockstar nonetheless.

          “Hellooo, Bluuue Diamooond stuuudents!” he bellowed into the microphone. Kari saw Emily out of the corner of her eye hiding her face in embarrassment. “Every year families, friends, and the public are welcome to join us in the Blue Diamond Cup where our faculty will embarrass themselves by competing against one another in games more suited for our students to play.”

          There was a slow increase of chatter among the crowd.

          “Tickets to this event are priced at five dollars per adult but children get in free. Anyone not interested in watching the Blue Diamond Cup, have no fear. There will be plenty of food stalls and game booths set up. Tickets will get you one free meal and a try at one of the games, past that, prices will vary. Any proceeds made during the Blue Diamond Cup are being used to help make this school an even better learning environment and on top of that we will have a school-wide pizza party.”

          All the students cheered in excitement. He had them at “pizza party.”

          “Before you leave today, make sure to grab a brochure from your homeroom teacher to share with your folks. When you hand it over to them, bat those big puppy-dog eyes of yours. The more people, the better. Now that all the technical stuff is out of the way, I will explain the games, so listen up.”

          The chattering and cheering over the pizza party continued. Mrs. Reed cleared her throat loudly and the noise stopped almost instantly. Kari wondered if she even needed a microphone at all.

          “There will be four teams of two challenging each other in six events. The team that comes in first will be awarded two points while the team that comes in second will be awarded one. Third and fourth place will be awarded nothing; nada. The team with the most points at the end of the event will be the winner and will have this dazzling cup.” Deckles grabbed the cup and held it into the air. The lights made it sparkle brightly before he placed it back down on the podium. “I will now hand it off to Mrs. Reed to announce the�"zzzzz.”

          Deckles had fallen asleep standing straight up. Half of the gymnasium applauded unenthusiastically as Mrs. Reed plucked the microphone from his clenched hand while Raven and Hailey dragged Deckles back to his seat. Deckles’ narcolepsy had become a source of entertainment for the students over the years of his service as vice-principal. He welcomed the idea that his ailment brought joy to others even if he wasn’t awake to see the results.

          “Thank you, Mr. Kraw.” She hobbled down the steps of the stage and stood in the center of the gym where sparkling, blue tape was stuck to the ground in the shape of a cut diamond. “I will now announce the competitors. Once I call your name, join me here in the center,” she commanded while tapping the ground with her cane. “Our Phys Ed teacher, Ms. Watson...”

          Raven jumped off the stage and waved foolishly beside Mrs. Reed. She got a large cheer from everyone. Raven was popular among the students from every grade, so naturally, she was the most well-received. Every announcement was followed by applause, but how much and from which section of the crowd varied.

          “Our kindergarten teacher, Ms. White...”

          Leena picked herself up and delicately made her way down the bleachers to join Raven and Agatha. Raven slapped her on the back in excitement and Leena nearly fell face forward.

          “Our substitute teacher, Mr. Daisy...”

          Kari watched Mr. Daisy shake the bleachers while making his way down to the floor. His eyes were sunken into his skull as if they were avoiding the light and his mustache firmly hid his mouth. It reminded her of when he was on the news. He quietly hid behind Raven and Leena; ineffectively, of course.

          “Our lunch man, Mr. Duval...”

          A man with pristine chef clothing and tangerine-colored hair tied into a ponytail strode down from the third-grade class section of the gym to the center. The Three Terrors had pranked that man a few times by stealing his chef’s hat and filling it with finger paint. He was an uptight, clean man, which Kari normally despised, but he would sometimes slip the kindergarten class freshly baked cookies so she didn’t prank him that often.

          Rowan Duval: lunch man. He had an obsessive habit of cleaning everything he touches until it shines. He demanded nothing but perfection from his peers when it came to keeping the kitchen free of filth and grime. A talented cook, he was able to put a spin on the normally mundane lunches that made them delicious.

          “Our math teacher, Mr. Gene...”

          Edmund got an extensive amount of cheers from the fourth-grade class. Kari heard he had fun math classes that were popular with the older students, but she didn’t buy that for a moment despite the cheers. That man was certainly a demon in disguise.

          “Our head librarian, Ms. Breeze...”

          Haily bounced down from the stage and wedged herself between Quincy and Rowan. She gave them both a giggle and a teasing wink. Rowan scoffed and distanced himself, wiping the arm she had lightly grazed, meanwhile, Quincy had not changed expression or had given attention anywhere else but the floor since he had entered the taped diamond.

          “Our vice-principal, Mr. Kraw...”

          Deckles got nothing more than a few coughs and scattered pity claps after his announcement. He was still clocked out on his chair.

          “And lastly, our English teacher, Mr. Axel.”

          A roar of obligatory applause slowed down to silence. No one was entering the center of the gym. Eyes darted from wall to wall looking for Mr. Axel, but he was nowhere to be found.

          “Mr. Axel?!” Mrs. Reed asked while roaming the gym. When she couldn’t spot the man she was seeking she motioned the bearded man on the stage by miming her hand as a phone.

          “Mr. Axel, please report to the gymnasium,” a gruff voice echoed over the overhead speakers.

          After a minute or so of exchanges with her friends, Kari watched a brown-skinned man with silvery, springy, shoulder-lengthed hair enter through the gym doors with an absent-minded gaze.

          Tiberius Jonas (T. J.) Axel: English teacher. A carefree teacher who was often forgetful of what he was doing last. He was a “glass half full” kind of young man.

          Mr. Axel joined the rest of the group with a scratch of his head and an uneasy laugh. Kari figured he had forgotten there was an assembly or had been distracted by a butterfly or something. She laughed to herself at this thought.

          “Now that Mr. Axel has joined us, we’re all gathered together. I will pair this year’s teams. The names of the four teams these eight people will be divided between are Team Bull, Team Otter, Team Dove, and by far the most popularly named team, Team Skunk.”

          “Skunk, skunk, skunk,” cheered the sea of children.

          Edmund Gene winced and ground his sharp teeth at the word “skunk.” “I’ve been on Team Skunk for the past four years,” Edmund muttered to himself. “I demand Lady Luck to show me a bit of dignity and put me on any team besides that one. Team Skunk has never won once.” He glanced over at Quincy and smirked devilishly. “Imagine. If I beat Quincy Daisy and claim the Blue Diamond Cup for myself, there will be no denying who is the superior one. And it will all take place in front of the citizens of Almond Bay and the parents of our fine students. There will be no way he could keep his cool after that. I will get him to show his true, brutish colors.”

          Deckles let out an unconscious snort that pierced Edmund’s eardrum even in the chaotic chatter of the gymnasium. He glared at the vice-principal with disgust.

          “Then there’s Kraw. Beating him isn’t very satisfying. The lazy bum hardly gives anything his all. Any unfortunate soul on his team is destined to come in last.”

          The bearded man wheeled out a squeaking cart which hulled a neatly folded stack of shirts and a small cardboard box with a fist-sized hole cut in the top. The hole was covered with a slit cloth. Agatha nodded to the bearded man as a thank you and seized the box while the bearded man grabbed two of the shirts and displayed them to the crowd, holding them by the collars. On each shirt was a decal of a cartoon bull with a preposterous grin.

          “I would like a give a special thanks to the fourth-grade class for the drawings used on this year’s shirts,” Agatha said with pride. “I know we’re still early in the year, but this will be your last year in Blue Diamond Elementary. The team that wins will have your artwork displayed next to their name in the entryway for all time. I couldn’t be a prouder principal.”

          Agatha encouraged the fourth-grade class to stand and take a quick bow. Claps filled the gymnasium with a heavy downpour. Kari unconsciously clapped until she glimpsed at Troy’s sour expression. He was covering his mouth like he was about to spew his breakfast into his lap.

          “That artwork is terrible. The lines are wrong. The coloring...” he muttered.

          “I will draw the teams,” Agatha announced as she gave the cardboard box a little shake. She plunged her hand into the box and pulled out two strips of white paper. “For Team Bull: Mr. Duval and Mr. Axel.”

          Rowan and T. J. took their shirts from the bearded man and popped them over their heads. They gave one another a fistbump and beamed side by side.

          Agatha drew two more names. “For Team Dove: Ms. Watson and Ms. White.”

          Raven took Leena’s arm and threw it to the ceiling after they secured their shirts around their torsos. They smiled and laughed like teenagers.

          “Team Otter: Mr. Kraw and Ms. Breeze.”

          Hailey grabbed both the otter shirts and walked up the stage to drop the shirt on the snoozing Deckles. She grabbed his limp arm and raised it with hers.

          That leaves�" Edmund thought in a panic.

          “That leaves,” Agatha repeated as if she were reading Edmund’s mind, “Mr. Daisy and Mr. Gene for Team Skunk.”

          Quincy’s shirt ripped while he was trying to put it on while Edmund draped his shirt over his arm with a dumbfounded look.

          “Don’t worry, Mr. Daisy. Well get you a larger shirt for the event,” Agatha chortled.

          I never believed I’d be on Quincy’s team, thought Edmund, Lady Luck must despise me. He frowned and crossed his arms, but cracked a quick grin when Leena and Raven gave Team Skunk gestures of expectant anticipation. Well, could be worse I guess...

          “The games we’ll be playing,” said Deckles suddenly with a shirt still covering half his face. He had woken up and sprinted for the mic after Agatha announced Team Skunk. “are the three-legged race, the egg relay, the two-man sack race, balloon hot potato, the beanbag toss, and a secret bonus challenge that will be revealed on the day of. With that, assembly over.”

         

***

 

          It was an overcast day, a bit windy and brisk as Kari played outside in the backyard. She struck the ground with a beat-up, plastic spade and poured the dirt into a nearby store-brand cereal box. After she had gotten it three-fourths full, she took her box of dirt into the house, stomping and humming to herself as she entered the backdoor.

          “Yeah, I know, it’s crazy...” Kaleb said over the phone. He’d been standing in the kitchen with the receiver pressed against his cheek talking to Onya and Jakob for at least an hour.

          Feeling like her brother had been on the phone long enough, Kari trotted over and dumped the box of dirt all over his shoes. “You are a tree,” she demanded slowly.

          Kaleb covered the receiver and glared at his sister. “I am not a tree, Kari. I was a tree last week and it can’t happen more than once a month. Those are the rules, you know that. Yes, hello? Yeah, my sister just dumped a bunch of dirt on my feet. Yeah, she said I’m a tree.”

          Kari heard a duet of muffled laughter coming from the speaker. Kaleb let loose a string of “goodbyes” then hung up. “You know you have to clean this all up now, right?”

          “I know, fine,” Kari huffed as she opened a closet door and dragged out a broom and dustpan.

          Kaleb reached for the fridge handle and noticed the invitation and brochure that Kari had glued to the door. He’d been busy all week so she hadn’t bothered showing them directly to him. He peeled them off and started with the birthday invitation. He corrected the spelling and grammar mistakes in real-time with his tongue.

          “Come to Ana-Lee and Desmond Strofer’s birthday party. Cake, games, and a show. Sounds like a blast. It’s in a couple of weeks from now. There is even a phone number on here. Did you want to go, Kari?”

          “Well, I guess,” she mumbled. “But I won’t have a present to bring Ana-Lee. I don’t care if Desmond gets one, he’s stinky.”

          “Who says you won’t have a present to give? Let the adult worry about it, Kari. You’ll bring a present for both Ana-Lee and Desmond. It’s his birthday too. Don’t be a petty ginger.”

          “Bleh,” Kari belched. “Mr. Strofer came into our classroom and introduced himself. He’s weird.”

          “He sure is! I’ve met him before. Nice guy, nice enough. A bit eccentric but completely harmless. He constantly poses, almost as if there’s a hidden camera on him at all times.”

          Kaleb squinted over the invitation again and made a soured face that told Kari he was thinking about dollars and cents. Whenever money was mentioned around Kaleb he got real quiet. That always made Kari uncomfortable even though she hadn’t fully grasped the concept of monetary value yet.

          “If you’re going to be lonely, I won’t go. I’ll just stay home with you,” Kari said.

          “Lonely!? Why do you think I’d be lonely without you?”

          “Because you don’t have any friends.”

          “I have plenty of friends. I just prefer my alone time. It’s something you won’t understand or appreciate until you are older. You’re going to that birthday party just so you can stay out of my hair for the evening. Get back to sweeping, girl.”

          Kari snickered as Kaleb blushed and stuck his nose into the pamphlet from the school. His flushed face transformed into a reminiscent smile after reading the dazzling blue words.

          “The Blue Diamond Cup. I haven’t thought of this since fourth grade. I’m amazed they are still doing it. I never won any of the games.”

          “All the teachers are going to be battling to the death next Friday,” Kari said unenthusiastically while failing to sweep a majority of the dirt into the dustpan. “Everyone’s going to be there. Troy and Diya said their families are going to show up...”

          “I would love to come, Kari�"”

          “Yeah yeah, I know you can’t. You have to work because we’re poor,” Kari frowned as she stopped sweeping.

          With a sigh, Kaleb knelt and lifted Kari’s chin. “Don’t say that. We’re not poor, Katharina. We’re just on a tight budget, just like any other normal family.”

          “Diya’s not poor,” Kari spewed. “They have lots of stuff like video games and a pool.”

          “Diya’s mother is a world-renowned actress. I wouldn’t say that qualifies as a normal family.”

          “Yeah... I forgot. But Troy’s not poor either and he has a normal family.”

          “Troy is a Branford and his father is the mayor.”

          “What’s a mayor?” Kari asked after a pause.

          “A politician. If you’d like me to explain it I will but it’s very boring stuff.”

          “I’ll pass,” Kari said quickly.

          “You’re too young to ever be worrying about money. We went to the movie theater recently. Could a poor family ever do that?”

          Kari bit her lip, shook her head, and grasped at her grimy pants.

          “See? I tell you what. That Friday when I get off of work we can go grab some ice cream. How does that sound?”

          Kari wiped her misty, emerald eye. “Okay... Can we go visit mommy and daddy? I want to hear more stories about them.”

          “...sure. We can visit them. I’ll clean up the rest of this. Go upstairs and clean yourself up. You’re covered in dirt.”

          Kari ran up the stairs. Kaleb dumped the dirt pile into the kitchen trash can and propped himself up on the counter for a few shaky breaths. He took a hard stare at a nearby picture of himself at the age of eleven or twelve with a man and a woman on either side of him. At the bottom of the picture were the words “The Hayes Family” printed in white. Kaleb slowly walked up to the picture and exchanged stares with his younger self. He scowled, clenched his teeth, reeled back, and punched the wall beside it after he soaked in the image of the man and the woman with their hands placed on either side of his younger self’s shoulders.

          “I tell you a world of lies just so you can hate the truth when the time comes,” he swore while waving the pain away from his smashed, raw knuckles. “Sonofabitch that hurt,” he whimpered.