Thoughts of dark matter, fractals and the space between: the nothing that is not nothing.
Reach into the place beyond Where only nothing lies Touch the edge of existence Where borders cease And the grid will crease
There the flock of nine crows Seven is the blackbirds Five vulture the dead Three hawk the living And one mothers the chaos
Here only blackthorns grow Leafless and bare And only the wolf can know To find her there Morgana waits in the dark Calling the key from the ark
She will show space in time Where lost souls long to rhyme Beyond the obscure to the unknown The esoteric, vague and dim Enshrouding the light in a bleak moan
For the other side of hope Is lacking. And nothing is ever enough In the nothing.
Positive: The allusion to Morgana was awesome! I really liked the imagery of her singing and the symbolism, similar to if she was a siren or something. The birds were very interesting. Birds are usually messengers or jesters of God. To say the hawks of the living and vultures of the dead draws a little bit away from their intended meaning, but it was a good use nonetheless. I love the little "esoteric" stuff at the end. It was a little interpretive, but I think I understood your intended meaning. :D
Negative: Existence is spelled incorrectly. Anyways, I don't know of a poetic style that uses that particular meter. I'm not really a meter critic, but it might be a thing to consider in the future. Some words seemed not to fit, such as "Enshrouding the light in a bleak moan". The word enshrouding seemed like it was out of place. I like your style, but try to write a little bit less directly.
A rose blood red with black thorns grow in a tower turning the hour; the waves flow as the tune follow the path of pan's pipes. The map is in pieces with many a creases, folding the love within; like .. more..