Reason Why

Sometimes I never left the past

And in order to be strong 

I had to think about the future

But my silence was better

Than the bullshit I had to deal with

Off in another world 

My own personal reality

Everyone else called it

The catalyst of my anxiety 

I am an open book

To any stranger that approaches

I have been told

But I feel like they all don't know so much

I have so much more to hide

Inside there's a hole

Too deep to fill inside

No one knows what I feel

These voices in my head

They are not mine

The prod and peck every inch of my mind

The thoughts no one else hears

I'm scared

I sit in the corners knowing what they're going to say

It's discomforting to know that the pretty girl

Is suffering from cancer inside

She never told me, I just know

It's a skill I have, one I can't control

I feel what you feel

But nobody knows

It's sometimes hard to tell the difference 

From my emotions to yours

The words I'm fine is it's own hidden message

The hurt and pain one feels come from those words

That some people can stay in your heart 

But not in your life

Nothing is wrong

But nothing is right

You just want someone 

To hold you there and tight

To tell you it's okay 

Not for kisses or pleasure

Just a sheer friend

That actually cares 

Because for once in my life 

I'd rather not be seen as a toy

I'd rather not be stressed 

You know you have to be strong

Because no one can fix you 

You're tired of fixing yourself and others

Tired of being strong 

And for once I want to lay down

Close my eyes and be numb

For once I want it easy 

To be simple

To be helped

To be saved 

I also know it'd never happen

Yet I, We, and You still hope

Still wishing

Still staying strong and fighting

With tears in our eyes

We are still smiling

There was a difference though 

Between giving up

And knowing when you had enough

But sometimes by the time you realized it

The tight rope you're standing on

Has already broke

The scariest part of lying awake at night

Is when the feeling sinks in 

That you can't be helped or saved 

And there's nothing you can do 

So you try to give up

But can't because you've lost yourself

So you cry knowing you don't care anymore

Because everyone else stopped

And you can't lift your own weight

Because you spent years trying to carry the world

And although we seek alternative paths

The choices we face will always come with thorns

And they scratch and scrape

Tearing our layers of skin 

Blood pouring from our cuts

They are no more 

Just scars for the world to see

They shake their heads

Send the blame our way

Never to fully understand

That the reason we can't stand up anymore

The cuts and bruises too

Was that society was to selfish and naive

To Realize that I, We and You were suffering too