To The Dead or Dying

I wrote this for my next door neighbor, who was like my brother, because he has cancer and probably won't live, but this is really for anyone who has died or is dying, or for anyone who knows someone who is dead or dying. I hope you guys like it! =(

We all live

with hopes of living

a long and happy life.

We all dream of becoming successful, or raising a family.

But some of us aren't so lucky.

They don't achieve their hopes and dreams.

They die early in life, and never get a chance.

A chance to really be in love.

A chance to be successful.

A chance to truly be happy.

If only there was a way

I could give my life,

so they could live.

I'd give my chance at achieving my dreams,

so they could achieve theirs.

But that's not possible.

And we have to live with death.

Author's Note

please tell me how i can fix this. it's a rough draft right now, but i want opinions other than my own. and please ignore mistakes. thanks!

Reviews

[Georgia Gypsy]

This is a very touching poem. I think you did a good job with the subject matter, which is always a tough one. I have writen a few things on the subject myself. You handle it with compassion, good job.

[Legion]

So true.

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

I lost my son two years ago due to a drunk driver and I have a friend dying of cancer. I have lost many loved ones and that is a reality we all must face. Your poem is a wonderful tribute for your friend and an awesome write. Thank you for sharing. Debileah

[Nicole]

Great job, Bella. This shows that you really care about, well anyone. I was being stupid and read it sideways, and it STILL all flowed and made scince.
(I think you used a good font and color. :)
Great job, and keep up the awesome work!

-- Nicole

PEACE, ♥, and :)

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

This is a real dose of sad reality... that is why we must live everyday the best we can and not wait to chase a dream... very touching poem.

[~Qu33n B~]

This is a very deep and true poem. I honestly don't think that you should change anything, because it came from your heart and all typos and mistakes are fine for something like this...to me. This is great and I'm glad that you feel this way. Many don't understand the pain that the dead or dying are going through. I am feeling this poem!