Eileen, come on!

Guess what I'm listening to.

Many days have passed

Have I seen you before?
Those tell-tale dungarees

Your wide happy smile

Turn around Eileen...

Ignore his catchy song

Slap his hand away

No, don't fall in love!

He is walking with his friends

Singing my name

Smiling at me and wooing me

Giving me butterflies

Eileen, come on!

Piss off now before you...

Before you fall...

Before you fall in love.

My hand is in his

Warm and friendly, reassuring

Eyes make me melt like butter

As I listen to his song

Just ignore me then

Don't give about me

Eileen, come on!

Come on Eileen.

Author's Note

HEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE I AM CRAZY AND DIAGNOSED WITH HAPPYSONGLOVER SYNDROME

Reviews

[Livana Lowell]

Lol, you are crazy, but I'm crazier. Anyways, when I read this I think about a thousand ways to die when this little midget was singing about some Eileen girl telling some lame joke. The woman knocked him back with her purse and caused the windpipe he was playing to choke him. Blah, anyways, I think the font was fine, though it would probably shout more if it were in Comic San or one of those fonts.

I catch a tune in my head and I don't know why when I read this. Otherwise, I see a great controlling idea in a comical way. I see someone in a relationship with an attractive guy who the narrator's friend must be thinking about falling in love for or something like that.

That's what comes to my mind when you have lines expressing the narrator's appeal for a guy with qualities of a wanted lover. Then, you have other lines expressing the narrator's relationship with this wanted lover. And Eileen seems to find him just as appealing, which explains the narrator yelling for the girl to leave or to not fall in love.

Or perhaps, you have the narrator in a relationship doomed from the start and the narrator wishes to warn Eileen that she must not fall in love lest risk a terrible heartbreak soon to come.

The last stanza should be revised because I didn't quite understand and the ending must be clear. What do you mean by "don't give about me"?

Otherwise, catchy, cute, comical, I say you have a wonderful piece, madam.

[mischeif]

Let me guess Come on Eileen. Ohh do I get a price for getting it right.
Nice poem thought it would be better if you changed the font of the writing for the different characters.
The Piss off before you... before youfall... fall in love has a nice affect but it could be better.
I must say it makes me shiver reading it though but thats just me I guess. =-)