Revenge is sweet

Oh the tears, how they roll!

Rolling down my cheeks

Glistening in the moonlight

Making patterns on my skin

 

Oh the pain, how it hurts!

Hurting in my very heart

Ripping my soul to shreds

Eating me from within

 

I thought I had loved you!

How very wrong I was

You used me unwisely

I was like a rubbish bin

 

But revenge was so sweet!

Your death was satisfying

I need not love no more

I have rid the Earth of sin

Author's Note

I quite like this poem. Do you?

Reviews

[Ron Hogan]

I like the rhyming scheme, actually. xxxa, xxxa, xxxa, xxxa. Also, in the first two stanzas, you used word repetition in the first two lines of each, which I think would have been great if you had continued it throughout the entire poem.

I don't really understand the final line. How has the speaker rid the Earth of sin?

[mischeif]

Aye revenge is sweet he he he

[Livana Lowell]

I'm gonna be very honest here. Like Ron Hogan said, I like the way it flowed in the first two stanzas. I like how you jused one word and draw it out to mean something of importance to attract beautiful, yet sad feelings. I love te diction- in the first two stanzas.

However, the third stanza wasn't as powerful, but still good because of the feeling I'm sure you meant to present.

Now the fourth stanza, sorry to say, threw me off. Especillay the last line because it sounded like you rid the world of all sin? I don't know. It sounded like it shifted without warning at all. It would've been better to elaborate on it and express more so that the title fits better. Or it could've been the focus wasn't strong enough on that part. It went from feeling hurt and betrayed to somebody's death? I don't know. It's just how I view it, so don't take me for being mean or anything.

Besides that, I liked it:). I understood what you were getting at, though.

[Bella-Marie]

Um... I suppose the guy was a sinner to her.. he didn't love her, so...

[allonsy_doctor]

Very realistic! I love it!