Deny my redemption

"You came.”

Sunken green eyes stared back at him; his expression blank. There was no way of knowing what he was thinking or feeling, sitting right in front of his brother, nothing but a glass wall separating them from one another.

Tentatively he wet his lips, tightening his grip on the phone.

“I didn't think you would,” he mumbled, trying to smile though it quickly faded away.

No reaction.

A small huff left his lips, his handcuffs rustling softly as he scratched his scruffy cheek. Ecter's dull eyes still stared straight at him as he stiffly pressed the phone against his ear, not speaking a word. He had waited for this visit ever since he was sentenced, had pored over what he'd say if he ever came to see him. However, now that Ecter was finally here, he found himself in a loss for words.

The strained silence didn't help.

“I miss you,” he whispered, loosening his sweaty grip on the phone. “I really do.”

Ecter's lips twitched for the split of a second, the movement so tiny it could just as well not have been there at all. However, it was enough for Aithon to sit up and straighten his back; his gaze turning desperately expectant. He didn't know what he was hoping for. A reaction. A word. Anything.

“You look good,” he blurted and smiled, trying to ignore the burning sensation in his eyes. “Better at least.”

Not really. The cold, white light of the visitor's area made Ecter's skin look even paler, sicker; emphasizing the circles right under his eyes. Greasy strands of hair hung into his forehead, curling at the ends. Still, Aithon felt warmth filling his chest as he noticed the lack of bruises on his little brother's skin.

It was a small comfort.

“How's your foster family?” he asked, nervously tapping at the white table. “Are they nice?”

Not even a blink.

“You look a little heavier. Got some meat on your bones, huh?” Another chuckle, however, his voice started to take an almost hysterical notion. “I guess your foster mum is a better cook than good ol' dad.”

“Don't speak of him.” Ecter suddenly snapped, his pale mouth curving into an ugly sneer. The guard turned his wary gaze towards them.

Aithon's brows twitched.

“Why?” he whispered, expression turning colder, stonier. “Because I 'killed' him?”

Ecter's body stiffened as he stared into his brother's face; jaw tight, squeezing the phone with shaking hands. Dull eyes turning stormy; consumed by hate.

For a single instant, Aithon felt relieve at the sheer amount of expression. He looked almost human again. Almost alive.

“I said,” Ecter whispered, voice strained, knuckles white. “Don't speak of him.” A gulp. “Don't you dare speak of him.”

“Why, brother, you look mad,” Aithon stated coldly, slowly leaning forward. “Am I ruining your therapy? Did that shrink tell you not to bring him up?” He laughed, although he didn't feel amused at all. “And here I thought talking about it would help.”

“Shut up,” he hissed, mouth tight, face turning red.

“Did she tell you to forget?” he continued, voice trembling as he felt his blood heat up with anger. “Did you forget what he did to you?” Ecter's gaze flickered to the guard. “Did you forget what you did?”

“I SAID SHUT UP!” he shouted, finally alarming the guard at the door. Tears came to Ecter's eyes as he punched the glass between them, gaze boring into Aithon's.

“I saved you,” Aithon hissed, breaking into perspiration. “I know that I should've done it much earlier - before that disgusting piece of s**t fucked up your head �" but I saved you nevertheless.”

Ecter lowered his fist, tightening his jaw. Green eyes stared into each other, the ticking of the clock being the only noise filling the room. The guard slowly relaxed again.

“You were supposed to sit here, Ecter,” he whispered, blinking as his eyeballs started to burn. “After what you did, it should've been you.”

A weak laugh escaped his lips as he slowly massaged his temple, averting his gaze to look at the white surface of the table. Right now he couldn’t bear the sight of his brother.

“I am sorry,” Aithon gulped. “I could've protected you. But I didn't. I let him hurt you. I let you become... whatever you are right now. Anything but a human being, that much is clear.”

Ecter remained silent for a moment longer, opening his mouth but not speaking a word. The guard checked the time, tapping on his wrist with a meaningful look in his eyes.

Finally, he asked: “If that's how you think about me... why did you save me? Why didn't you let them imprison me?“

Slowly Aithon raised his head, meeting Ecter's cold, unwavering gaze.

“Because you're my brother,” he said, voice dry and uninflected. “And because I wanted your forgiveness.”

Two pairs of green eyes locked, so very similar and yet so different from each other. While there was nothing but hate and cold in one of them, there was hope and warmth buried deep within the other.

Aithon loved. Beneath all this pain, he loved. It didn't matter that his brother had lost the ability to reciprocate his feelings. Nothing mattered beyond the perfection of his skin, the lack of violence inflicted on it.

Even though his little brother had turned into a hollow shell. At least he was safe.

“Forgiveness,” Ecter repeated, eyes turning dull once again.

Aithon waited for him to continue, hands shaking, heart pounding.

“Time is up”, the guard announced just as the watch hand came to a halt at precisely 12 o'clock.

"Ecter," Aithon whispered, however, the young man put down the phone immediately, almost knocking over the visitor's chair as he leaped to his feet. "Ecter, wait!"

Throwing the phone against the glass wall, he shouted after him, forcing the guard to drag him out of the visitor's area.

The door fell shut behind him, taking his redemption with him.